Sex scenes are hard - pun intended. They've become nearly essential to a good romance. Writing one that is believable and heated can require a lot of effort. If you're uncomfortable it shows and turns off readers. So where does one start? By remembering that the sex scenes are for and about your characters and not yourself.
1. Don't use medical terms if you can avoid them.
Nobody wants to read about vaginas and penises. Nothing can be more jarring than that. Of course crazy euphemisms hurt the story flow also. Pronouns however are great. Use both subjective and objective particularly!
Consider:
"He entered her swiftly" is hotter than "His penis entered her vagina swiftly." It's also better than "His pink cigar entered her taco swiftly."
Notice how the euphemisms were taken to the extreme. That was to prove a point because clefts, feminine deltas, meat, and poles can be equally weird in a situation. Use with discretion.
Conclusion: Readers want to be able to slip into the fantasy. Let them!
2. Reflect and record.
What attracts you to sex scenes in other romance novels?
Make a list of what you find and have found sexy in other authors' writing. Keep this list handy so you can refer to it while writing. Think of it as inspirational reminders. Be sure to try to include the list in your own work. Just don't turn this into a formula as that won't help. Formulized sex scenes read flat, underdeveloped, and are forgettable.
If you can't think of anything for your list, remember that sex is explored through all the senses. You can start there and flush out the scene accordingly.
Conclusion: Formulaic sex scenes are crap, but having a list of good sex scene qualities that appeal to you will go a long way.
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This post was written by...
Keira – who has written 1034 posts on Love Romance Passion.
Keira's favorite type of heroes are blind, scarred, and tortured... yes, she understands those should be separate, but all 3 at once is also nice! She enjoys historical romances best and adores audio books because great narrators turn books into auditory/mental movies (and she loves her romantic dramas like Pride and Prejudice/North and South!) Learn more about Keira in My Instant Turn Ons, Offs, and Ifs.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
So true! I acquire romance/erotica for a publisher and have seen some pretty, er, creative terms for the male organ. Two that stand out were “meaty prong” and “hard rammer.” heh.
Pink cigar and taco? LMAO! Thanks for the morning laugh. The sad thing is… there are authors who use words almost as bad. “Man-root” comes to mind… and “Flaming sword of love”.
Those are excellent terms. I actually have a word document filled with all the terms I ever find… and there are some doozies.
Vagina: wishing well, fly catcher, growler, cockpit
Penis: beef bayonet, holy poker, pork/mutton dagger
Where do people come up with this stuff? The worst I ever saw in an actual romance book was purple headed womb broom.
Reminds me of a fantasy romance novel I read one time. “He thrust his magic sword deep inside her.”
…I’m all for violent sex, but that’s taking it a bit too far.
Yeah, just a bit. It could always be worse though…
He speared her on his love sword, splitting her in two.
That for instance is worse. lol
LMAO! Purple headed womb broom??? I am nearly in tears over here. Nothing like killing a steamy moment with a crazy description like that.