Love Romance Passion » 1 Star http://www.loveromancepassion.com Because Books Don't Fall Asleep Afterwards! Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Review: The Billionaire Boss’ Innocent Bride by Lindsay Armstrong http://www.loveromancepassion.com/review-the-billionaire-boss-innocent-bride-by-lindsay-armstrong/ http://www.loveromancepassion.com/review-the-billionaire-boss-innocent-bride-by-lindsay-armstrong/#comments Tue, 29 Nov 2011 09:48:27 +0000 Keira http://www.loveromancepassion.com/?p=12231

Heroine: 21 year old Alex Hill works as an interpreter. Between 17 and 21 she lived in a convent after her parents died because the mother superior was related to her (aunt). She has an irrational dislike (fear) of elevators.

Hero: Playboy Max Goodwin is a mining magnate in his mid 30s. He needs an interpreter for several weeks while he woos a new Japanese client. When they first meet he’s unimpressed but after a makeover this confirmed bachelor wants her in his bed.

Sour Grapes: Max demands Alex get a makeover to make her presentable for being around the events he’s meeting his client in to which she accepts with a lot of grace (though she quibbles over who will pay for the makeover) considering how insulting he was. Then immediately following her makeover he makes a scene with a comment demanding to know what had been done to her in a makeover. Now she was too pretty? WTF, jerk.

Review: The constant switching in thoughts from one paragraph to the next. It was a mental tennis match. The switches were too obvious and too immediate, sharing what one thinks or the other thinks about a situation instead of letting the narrative progress. It was distracting and ruined the reading experience of interpreting information. This book is an example why for so long getting into the hero’s head wasn’t on the table or until the end of the book for his “Oh crap - I’ve got to grovel now or lose her forever!” moment. The dialogue between them was so full of cheese that I rolled my eyes until I got dizzy.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Buy: The Billionaire Boss's Innocent Bride (Harlequin Presents Extra)

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This is the last book in the The Husband Fund trilogy.

Heroine: Piper Duchess is the last remaining single Duchess triplet and she’s feeling it. At the advice of her shrink she bucks up and firmly places her feelings of abandonment and loneliness behind her and dives headlong into her commercial art business. She gets a partner and expands it globally, proving once and for all that she didn’t need a man and she especially did not need Italian aristocrat Nic de Pastrana.

Hero: Nic de Pastrana has wanted Piper from the first time he saw her, but circumstances made it so he could not and he had to be cruel to get the message across. Now free of his year long formal mourning for his late fiance, Nic is determined to win back her trust and love and prove to her that she does need a man -- him! Like his cousins, he plans to trick her with partial truths to get her to come to him. And a little marriage of convenience wouldn’t hurt his chances either.

Review: The story was too wrapped up in details from previous books of the series and I felt a lot of good to know background for Piper and Nic was missing. Readers were suppose to recognize and have knowledge of conversations/scenes the two shared previously and while they were briefly elaborated on it was dismissively instead of extensively. The excuse for the MOC was just that an excuse and overall the story was pretty flat. There was little chemistry between hero and heroine.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Buy: To Marry for Duty: The Husband Fund (Harlequin Romance)

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Story: Channing Kinkaid’s western adventure is turning out to be a big flop because the cowboy she hitched herself too is a real possessive jerk… and married?! Appalled she’s determined to get the hell out of Dodge until professional cowboy Colby McKay propositions her with a threesome/moresome sexual adventure a girl would be foolish to pass up. The rules are simple – she’s there for them whenever they want her and she can’t question them about the pleasures they plan to bring her.

Review (Spoilers): I can’t decide if I want to give props and hose the fact that Channing and Colby wind up together sans Colby’s partners. It’s certainly original for this erotica subgenre, but I felt Colby was acting ridiculous at times. He does threesomes all the time and then because Channing’s involved it’s not nearly so palpable for him? On one hand it’s realistic but on the other hand what makes Channing the one to inspire the green monster?

I also felt bad for the “third” rodeo partner who was gay and participated in getting a blowjob from Channing because Colby told him too instead of just coming out and saying he was gay and wasn’t interested in her. I thought that was degrading especially since it is clear later in the book that Colby knew the guy was gay. The second partner is bisexual and likes being with women and with the third partner adding extra drama.

Finally, the first half of the novel didn’t do much for me for two reasons. The first is that Channing is introduced feeling insecure about her rather large breast size (which never comes up again after she wins a random wet T-shirt contest) and kind of introverted because of her meek behavior with her parents and then she becomes an expert sexy woman with no qualms telling them what she wants and talking dirty which is so at odds to the mental image I had from the first little bit and secondly because I didn’t feel there was any emotion involved other than the need to do it. The second half did have the emotion as it became more traditional romance with spicy erotica elements due to Colby's jealousy and desire to make Channing "just his." I think perhaps that should have been the focus all along.

The sex was certainly steamy, hot!

Rating: ★½☆☆☆

Buy: Long Hard Ride: Rough Riders, Book 1

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by Carla F., guest reviewer

Summary: While backpacking across Scotland, Dillion and his cousin Peter are attacked by a big, hairy, ugly, vicious beast. Peter is killed in the attack. Dillion is seriously injured, and he becomes infected with the virus that the wolf/human/demon carried. He is able to control the urge to turn into a beast at the full moon by taking drugs. Over time those drugs are losing their effectiveness.

Now Dillion’s mission is to find the thing that killed his cousin. Besides taking revenge, he believes that killing the beast will free himself and all the other humans that have been infected by it. In his search, he kills other werewolves and becomes known to the werewolf world as someone who kills his own kind.

After a few years, he tracks the killer to the club, Wolf Bait. However, while there he runs into the beautiful, mysterious werewolf, Namina, a singer. She seduces him first with her singing and performance and then later with her body.

Review: Peter’s death is a gruesome one, and the world that Dillion inhabits is bleak. I was confused about Dillion’s role at the end of the story and not sure if I buy the reason that the beast let Dillion live.

I really had trouble enjoying this one. I might have felt differently if I would have realized that it was more erotica than romance sooner.

Overall: Definitely not my cup of tea. However, if you love your erotica joined with the paranormal you might like this quick read.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Buy:

http://www.cobblestone-press.com/catalog/books/wolfbait.htm

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Corporate Seduction is a highly erotic interracial romance set in the workplace with a white male boss and a black female secretary.

Winston Biggers is a jerk. He’s rude, mean, unfeeling and Maybelline, his secretary, is certain he’s keeping her from advancing. He won’t even give her a raise after all she’s put up with over the years. To cover the gap in her salary, May takes a second job at the Oh Club, a exclusive club that caters to a BDSM clientele, as a Dominatrix.

When a masked Winston wanders inside he’s immediately drawn to Mistress Mayai (pronounced "May I/Eye") as she reminds him of his secretary, a woman he’s been attracted to from the beginning of their working relationship, but was unable to do anything about do to company policy.

When they learn of their real identities the game changes. Win will get to be the Dom during the day at work and have May submit to him. At night, May will continue to be Dom. This setup lets them remain in lust with each other while also allowing them to take full control.

Winston and Maybelline are not perfect characters. They each do things that aren’t very likeable. For instance, Maybelline does something incredibly cruel and stupid in the beginning to Winston in retaliation to ill treatment. She sends his current girlfriend a very mushy note with an overly sentimental and romantic bouquet when he requested something very benign as he was leaning toward breaking up with the woman. I felt so bad for the soon-to-be-ex.  On the other hand, Winston is a true cad. He knows Maybelline deserves the raise she requested and to be promoted but he keeps her where she is because it suits him. It's hard to like a story when you don't like the main characters.

Some other things that bugged me – May never interacting with her grandmother for whom she was taking the moonlight job for and Princess/Mistress Payne the sadist side character.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Buy: Corporate Seduction

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I did not like Love and Other Drugs. The movie is based on Hard Sell: The Evolution of a Viagra Salesman by Jamie Reidy, a former Pfizer rep. Loosely, I believe, because the book lacks any love interest... It was a starting point at least. The movie took a very negative view of doctors and the pharmaceutical industry.

I had issues with the morality of many of the characters. One of the questions I overheard in the theater was ‘what was the difference between the movie and a porno?’ It was meant as a joke but there was a ton of nudity and frankly I don’t understand why Anne Hathaway had to bare skin in the film at all. I didn’t think there was much difference between Anne showing darn near everything and the girl who was on screen for two minutes allowing Josh Gad’s character to hump her in a parody of sex.

(Why did Josh’s character exist at all, really? Incidentally the character's name is Josh too.)

I was unaware of the Parkinson's Disease side of the story because I went off the theatrical trailer only and didn’t bother to check anything out before going to the theaters. I think Anne Hathaway acted really well. It was very hard/uncomfortable to watch her hands jitter and her bad days. It was a very depressing side to the story.

Actually I felt the movie couldn’t decide if it was a comedy or a drama. There were some light moments but everything happy was overshadowed by a lot of negatives.

Minor Spoiler: The best part of the movie? Listening to Hank Azaria explain as Dr. Stan Knight why he wanted to be a doctor in the first place. It came across heartfelt and well received. I called Jake Gyllenhaal’s character going back to school from this scene alone... well that and he's desperate for a cure for Maggie Murdock (Anne Hathaway).

It ends on a happy for now note which is a good thing otherwise the whole experience would have been pointless.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Sign Up: Love and Other Drugs

Buy: Hard Sell: The Evolution of a Viagra Salesman

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I wanted to like Bad Heir Day, the plot sounded cute, but I wasn't able to delve deep into the story and immerse myself for a couple of reasons. Mostly, I just couldn’t drum up enough empathy for any of the characters. I didn't really like any of them. This includes the heroine, Anna. She was a door mat who could have left the bad situation at any time and the fact that she didn’t was a serious strike against her. She’s supposed to be a writer but was afraid she lacked any true talent. She follows the advice of a complete stranger and winds up becoming a nanny, cook, maid, and personal assistant all rolled into one job for a pittance in pay and crap living arrangements.

Cassandra, the other half and side of the novel, is the writer’s blocked, evil employer of doom. She is not only a raging drunk and a terribly indulgent mother, but she’s also egocentric. She bitterly complains at the end of the novel about having to share half of the profits of her books with a ghostwriter (not Anna) all because her name is on the covers. She’s so willfully clueless that your teeth start grinding just thinking about it.

The whole professional nannies side of the story was a little much for me too. I did not like how the nannies deliberately went after the husbands in some cases or use the husband’s interest to further line their pockets. The whole culture of it came across very degrading and mercenary.

Rating: 1 Star

Buy: Bad Heir Day: A Comedy of High Class and Dire Straits

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I had several issues with this novel. First, there is no chemistry between Ian and Hannah. They are bland. The whole love story is flat. Frankly, I hardly cared whether they liked each other or not let alone loved each other. When they reach the realization and eventual declaration of their love to one another it is unsatisfying and unbelievable.

The book started off slow and never took off. It plods along at a rate that makes snails look daredevil speeding machines. Ian is a Marquis in need money to pay off debts. Hannah wants to please her father by gaining social standing and forget a shallow lover. They agree to marry, an arrangement that suits them both and promise never to bring up the bargain again. Except they do. Every scene. No joke. This creates a pattern that gets old fast.

He’s bitter because he was sold to the highest bidder. It really irks him and yanks on his pride. She’s tired of being seen as a title grabbing, social ladder climbing, merely passable bride. She tries so hard not to give him any reason to be ashamed of her and always sees herself as failing.

The back of the novel promises Hannah to socialize with the ton and another man who wants to win Hannah’s heart. It’s very misleading as neither of these ever really happen. Sure, eventually Hannah meets the members of the ton but it’s not pleasant and they snub her. The man is actually the shallow cad who dumped her for better looking goods at the beginning of the novel. He’s hardly a blip on the radar for how long you have to wait for him to show up and how short he stays.

Rating: 1 Star

Buy: A Bride for His Convenience

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Constance Townley is the dowager duchess of Wellford. She is extremely beautiful and extremely poor. Now a widow, Constance remembers the comfortable life she had with her departed husband. He settled her well, but because of the naïve (re. halfwit lamebrain imbecile) nephew (also known as the new duke) is not honoring it and has actually used her home to pay Barton a gambling debt.

Barton is the evil entitled gentlemen (and I use the term lightly) wants Constance to be his mistress/whore and it striving to get that by any means possible. He does several things such as acquiring her home, blackmailing her with the jewels which she had to sell, and threatening to spread malicious gossip.

The hero in all this is Anthony de Portnay Smythe. He is really Eustace Smith (not that this matters in the slightest). He’s a thief which in other words is a spy for government. As a self-made wealthy man, he’s just seen the last of his brothers’ widows’ daughters (how much does that suck seriously) married and feels like something in lacking in his life that gives him purpose. He’s been secretly in love with Constance for a long time but when the government suspects that she’s helping Barton he plans to use her to get his man by any means possible.

The whole story was annoying and gave me very little enjoyment. The repetition of the same drama and its same lack of resolution got old very quickly. For the most part I just couldn’t get involved at all as quite simply, it just couldn’t hold my attention. The cover on the other hand is scrumptious and very pretty.

Rating: 1 Stars

Buy: A Wicked Liaison

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by Isabel G.,guest reviewer

The main character is a mortician named Jake Marshall who lost his partner and is searching for someone new with whom to share the rest of his life. It is difficult for him to find someone who measures up to his expectations and is also understanding about his profession. However, things start to get complicated when a voodoo priest resurrects a cadaver laying at the funeral home where Marshall works. The corpse, turned walking dead, known as Mark Hartner, is fouler as a person than any smell a zombie could eject. The pain he caused many people, both physically and emotionally, is why he was brought back to life to suffer.

I began reading this book without any bias that it’s a gay/zombie themed story, which is not what I’m normally used to reading. However, I was willing to try something new and looking forward to an exciting erotic experience nonetheless. Unfortunately, the author does nothing to excite me as a reader neither with the story nor the erotica. Despite the fact that there are only 200 pages to this ebook it was an uphill battle trying to finish reading it. In the end, I could not. I found it to be unrealistic, tasteless, and there were details that were unnecessary and off-putting.

At one point the main character has a never ending ejaculation, in a dream like state, while having an orgy with people that died years ago. Oh, did I mention that it’s painful and not fully enjoyable for our hero? Yeah, as a matter of fact, most of the sexual encounters in this book are not enjoyable for the characters. It was just a bit much, in a way you really don’t want in an erotic read.

Something else that bothered me was that the main character claims to be searching for someone worth spending the rest of his life with yet he sleeps with several men after finding a guy he feels that way about. He seems more interested in sex with everyone versus what the author wants you to believe about him. Another thing that was longer than it needed to be is that the main character goes on and on describing the color of someone’s eyes and you feel as though the author just wanted to bulk the story with more sentences rather than giving the story substance.

I liked the idea of a voodoo priest being the reason a zombie was walking. The idea was unique, yet, the rituals were not what a reader expects nor does it make that religion intriguing.

Disliked: Most of the book for multiple reasons including but not limited to descriptions of licking outie belly buttons, balls dropping, saliva drenched chest hair, dry sweat licking of underarms, sex obsessed hero, necrophilia, rape scenes, etc…

If you’re attracted to any of the above mentioned then I guess there really is something for everyone! Personally, I do not recommend this book to anyone, straight or gay.

Rating: 1 Stars

Buy: For the Love of the Dead: Gay Zombie Erotica

Publisher: Ravenous Romance
ISBN-13: 978-1-60777-312-2
Copyright 2009
Genre: Paranormal Erotic Romance
Page: 202

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