by Rhiannon Ellis, guest blogger and author of Bonded in Brazil
A friend recently tweeted that she'd finished a novella she'd been working on. At first, I was all YAY! Go you! Then, I realized she'd only been working on it for, maybe, two weeks.
HOLY SPEED WRITER BATMAN! MY HERO!
I asked how she did it so I could emulate and be a speed writer, too. Just. Like. Her.
Her advice: Ignore everyone until they get it and go away.
That sounded easy enough. I set off right away to give it a whirl, rubbing my hands together with glee because my speed writer future looked gloriously bright.
I make sure my kids have everything they need and put on my "Mommy's working and ignoring you" face. Here's what happened:
1. My son locates a bottle of lotion in a bathroom drawer. He promptly squeezes out half the contents and rubs it into his hair.
The amount of lotion is too much to simply wipe off so I have no choice but to proclaim ten in the morning bath time. I get that handled and resettle the kids.
2. Back to writing. Darling daughter calls me from the hallway, a hint of delight in her voice telling me her brother is being naughty and she can't wait to see him get in trouble. Darling son had, apparently, snatched the coffee container from the kitchen counter and dumped all the grounds onto the carpet outside his bedroom. I find him gleefully tossing fistfuls into the air.
I have no choice but to pause writing again and vacuum. I also have to wipe son down to make sure no coffee grounds remain on him, scared that they'd somehow soak into his skin and he'd be awake for 4 1/2 days.
3. Back to writing. Son (yes, him again) breaks the rule of not opening sliding glass door. Sliding glass door does not shut/latch properly without extreme effort and it's Arctic-cold outside. Both kids are joyous--they're using their fingers to dig in the snow on the deck and slide mini icebergs into the house.
I put on my freak-out face because we'd gone over this sliding-glass-door nonsense not even 24 hours prior. After both kids have been sufficiently lectured and punished, I spend a frustrating amount of time attempting to latch the door while sliding on the wet floor. I almost kill myself at one point so I decide drying the floor first would be best.
4. Floor dry, sliding glass door latched, I sit back down. The next hour is full of the worst kind of mental torture a writer can endure. "Mommy, Bo hit me." "Mommy, I'm thirsty." "Mommy, I'm bored." "Mommy...!"
By this point my lips are unexplainably numb, I'm drooling, and I've developed a nervous twitch in my left eye. I give up on writing and announce to my children that Mommy is going to vacuum.
The vacuum cleaner is like performing an exorcism. I plug it in, flip the switch, and the precious little heathens sit on the couch in blissful silence as I electronically suck the sanity back into the house.
It took three hours to lose sight of my speed-writing dream. Maybe I'll try again in a couple years. Until then, call me slow poke.
Lesson #1: What works for one writer does not necessarily work for another.
Lesson #2: Any writer who is also a mom should automatically be inducted into sainthood.
I hope you enjoyed my antics and will check out my new releases, Bonded in Brazil
Giveaway alert: Anyone who comments on this post will be entered into a drawing for a free e-book. I’ll be giving away 4 e-copies (2 of each new release) at the end of my tour on April 8th. Leave your email address so I can contact you!
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
LOL! That is so true for any mom trying to do *anything for herself.
Hi Sharon– I’m surprised us moms get anything done, let alone writing books. Thanks for stopping by
Maybe my husband is right…I just think I want kids. LOL! And I agree, you are a saint!
Dara–kids are great! Mine have moments of naughtiness, but they’re totally worth it. And they make for entertaining blog posts
Thanks for stopping by!
Hi Rhiannon,
That was a cute post. And one I empathize with. It wasn’t until my children entered those heavenly double doors (known as school), that I was able to…exhale.
LOL, heavenly double doors. I hadn’t heard that one before. I was beginning to think I was the only one that threw a party when both my kids were finally in school.
My mother isn’t a writer, but I think she would agree with this post, lol. If it’s not one kid interrupting her, it’s a phone call from another.
I think anytime moms try to do ANYTHING, kids interupt. I gladly welcome this when I’m doing laundry, though, so I can’t complain too much.
I think all mother should be canonized!
This post brought back memories. I am glad that my are older now!
I had to laugh at this one.
Getting people to go away, especially loved ones is hard enough to do, so believe me when I say I treasure the time I have alone to write.
Speed writing is fun but as long as it’s for a short story -that’s why I enjoy writing 1000 word flash fics for my own personal interest, if I had to do more, I’d have to bolt the doors and gather my supplies of ice-cream and soda pop!
I know what you mean Sandra. It seems whenever I start typing a fanfic someone shows up and interrupts.
It happens to me too – that’s why I write flash fiction more than anything else!
What’s the difference? Or more precisely what is flash fiction?
Keira,
Flash fiction is a nice bit of inspiration that comes at you when you don’t have time to make a full story out of it, or a full-length novel.
It is usually between 100-250, at the most a 1,000 words in length and it has the basics of a story; setting, emotion, and minimal characters of two. (there just isn’t room for any more.
Flash fiction is supposed to have several basic guidelines, one is to have a smaller idea developed from a large one that would under normal circumstances make a novel, start at a point of action to get the reader into it straight away, and have a good middle and end. There is more to it, but those are just the basics.
There are plenty of websites dedicated to writing flash fiction and some even pay, so it’s worth cultivating an interest.
Good to know! I’ve heard of 100-250 drabbles (for short fanfic) and of course one-shot ficlets. I usually dabble in HP if I get the urge.
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