Review: Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, Book 1) by E.L. James

by Keira G on November 23, 2012 · 16 comments

in 1 Star, Book Review, Business, Contemporary, Entrepreneur, Erotica, J-L, Playboys and Rakehells, Tycoon, United States of America, Virgin Heroine

fifty shadesDisclaimer: I read parts of the story as a fanfic called Master of the Universe. It was okay, but nothing special. Still when a fanfic becomes a mainstream published novel I expect the flaws to be fixed and the glaring irregularities to be corrected. I expect someone to say to the author, “Hey you, what were you thinking, this makes no sense” or… “There is no way on the face of this planet a guy like your hero would ever say or do….” So the fact that I didn’t see any of that irks me and my review reflects that. If you loved these books stop now. Here is what I hated:

It relied heavily on readers already knowing the dynamic and personality and characteristics of the Twilight characters, especially Edward and Bella. If you hadn’t read Twilight and fallen for the romantic pair’s unique story, going into the BDSM relationship of this book is going to send up red flags. Allow me to explain in detail…

Ana is a novice when it comes to men, dating, sex, and submission. So if you didn’t know Ana and Christian were fated for each other and that it was true love, you would tell this girl to run as far and as fast in the other direction as possible.

Who would want to be with a guy that says to you, “I love hurting you and I need to hurt you to be turned on around you?” When you (and I am really speaking for Ana here, not someone into BDSM) wants Christian to want her in a vanilla relationship? There are some screws loose. All the sex scenes read like sex for sex sake and not as a spicy hot romance story. Lots of telling about feelings, and little showing.

Then there was inner monologue hoo-hah that had me cringe in the fanfic that managed to make it to the final draft. Did anybody read all that inner goddess crap and actually like it? Seriously—it’s crap, trying to be cute. Ana has multiple personality disorder and is oft times schizophrenic. That’s not sexy.

After the inner monologue, comes the real dialogue. Can we say, awful? Not to mention quite painful to read sometimes. Christian Grey’s “Laters, Baby” comes to mind right away. Shoot me now. There is no way this guy would say that because he is a stoic, uptight, always-in-control billionaire making 100K an hour. So no, I don’t buy it—the poor grammar, or the stupid nickname. He’d call her something else or leave it at just plain old Anastasia.

That’s just a few of the reasons I don’t like this story. Have you read it? What do you think?

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

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Buy: Fifty Shades Trilogy Bundle: Fifty Shades of Grey; Fifty Shades Darker; Fifty Shades Freed

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Angela R Sargenti November 23, 2012 at 3:34 AM

I feel the same way when someone says, “Hells yeah.”

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2 Keira November 23, 2012 at 8:23 AM

Yes. Shudder!

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3 NancyLane November 23, 2012 at 10:11 AM

Dont agree at all. Loved the books and all of my friends who read them loved them as well. Laters Baby

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4 Keira November 25, 2012 at 7:07 PM

I know a lot of people who did. It didn’t do it for me.

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5 Elizabeth November 23, 2012 at 1:38 PM

I couldn’t have said it better myself!!! 5 Stars on your review!

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6 Keira November 25, 2012 at 7:08 PM

Thank you! I’m glad to know it is not just me.

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7 Elizabeth November 28, 2012 at 8:14 AM

No you aren’t the only one!!! :)

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8 Taylor November 23, 2012 at 9:12 PM

FINALLY! Someone who agrees with me. I love you for writing this post, Keira. You’re my hero. :)

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9 Keira November 25, 2012 at 7:09 PM

Haha! I’ll take it. :D Shall I shine my armor? lol

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10 Taylor March 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM

:) Yep! Go ahead!

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11 fifi December 4, 2012 at 4:57 AM

I love your review :D Now I’m so not gonna read this book lol

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12 Keira December 5, 2012 at 3:09 PM

Feel free to grab it from a library if you are curious. save your money!!!

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13 jamie beck December 10, 2012 at 1:51 PM

Keira,
Love the honesty of this review. I admit that I did not know of (or read) the fan fic (although I did read the Twilight series). Like you, I hated this heroine and her inner goddess by the end of the first book. I kept reading the series because I wanted the full ‘backstory’ on Mr. Grey and, having never read any BDSM story, I was a little intrigued by some of the things I read in these books. However, as you note, there were some incredible stretches required of the reader, and a lot of repetitive thoughts/feelings. So, while it ‘entertained’ me as I read it, I wasn’t liking it much by the end of the series. I had a similar reaction to the Twilight series (hated Bella by the end, and lost respect for Edward, who basically became her doormat).

Anyway, thanks for the straight up post. I’ll be following you to get the ‘real skinny’ on future books!

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14 Keira December 10, 2012 at 6:29 PM

Thanks! I am glad you liked the review – it’s good at filling space/time, but has zero substance. I must admit that most of my love for Twilight is Edward focused. He’s got flaws, but he’s also played by Robert Pattinson. I can ignore them. lol :D Just give me more screen time with the actor and I am good!

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15 Nim January 11, 2013 at 9:00 AM

I found the novel-yes, novel- I didn’t to read the other two.

The grammar is horrible and God! Don’t get me started on the ‘inner goddess ‘ Crap. Christian and Ana aren’t healthy.

And….it is nothing like the real and actual BDSM lifestyle. I feel bad for the ones who do because they think this trilogy is how the lifestyle is

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16 Keira January 14, 2013 at 8:26 PM

My inner goddess agrees. Haha.

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