Why Jacob Black and Bella Swan Would Never Work as a Romantic Couple

The whole idea of Teams is ridiculous. Readers of the series know how it ends and the folly of picking Teams is apparent. There was never any question Bella would wind up with Edward. Sure, you could pick Team Jacob for his hot body and delicious muscles, but picking Team Jacob because he and Bella make sense is ludicrous and here are 5 reasons why: (spoilers ahead)

1.     Jacob is a werewolf.

It’s not so much that he’s a werewolf, so much as what being a werewolf in Stephenie Meyer’s world implies. At least with Edward, Bella had a chance to become immortal too and eventually this chance is realized. With Jacob she’d grow old and he wouldn’t even start to age until he could go long periods of time without shifting. If Bella hated the thought with Edward, there’s no way she’d stand for it with Jacob, especially when Jacob can’t change her into a werewolf too.

2.     Jacob would imprint.

Another downside to the Jacob and Bella relationship is that eventually, like the rest of his furry brothers, Jacob would imprint. It might not be right away, he might have to wait for her to be born as with the case of Renesmee. But we’re assuming Bella doesn’t stay with Edward so the example should be Quil and Claire. That’d leave Bella alone… Jacobless and Edwardless, which would never work.

3.     Jacob is too pushy.

Edward has his faults, but Jacob’s pushiness makes Bella extremely uncomfortable. She can’t handle it and she doesn’t like it. If a fist in the face doesn’t bring home these facts to Jacob, he’s clearly clueless and will continue in said pushy behavior (as he does in Eclipse manipulating a kiss at the end of the novel) until he ultimately pushed Bella too far and eventually away.

4.     Jacob is beyond reckless.

He’s not worried about his life and safety and takes unnecessary risks. It might be thrilling at first, but over the long haul it’s not what Bella’s looking for. If you look at his behavior at the end of Eclipse you can see where his foolishness gets him – critically hurt and even then he doesn’t take it seriously. Bella would be constantly looking out for him in a manner similar to how she looks after her parents. She needs someone like Edward who’s willing to tone down his wildness and to act like an adult.

5.     Jacob doesn’t get it.

Love means something else to him than it does to Bella and he simply doesn’t get it. He’s in the middle of puppy love, not adult love when it comes to his feelings for Bella. Why else would he run off and face down a hoard of Newborns instead of staying with Bella when she clearly doesn’t want him to go?

Conclusion: It’s as clear as the snout on a werewolf’s face that Bella and Jacob never had a shot of everlasting and true love.

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Dear Robert Pattinson

If you dropped in on LRP’s Facebook Fan Page at the end of May, you might remember how I talked about sending Robert Pattinson fan mail – you know to put a crown on my geekiness and fangirl behavior. I haven’t heard back, but I suspect that’s because his people must field thousands a day at a minimum. I promised to share and so here it is:

Dear Robert,

How does one start a letter to someone they’ve never met, probably never will, and is certain said letter will be read by someone other than the person to whom it is addressed? I haven’t the foggiest idea. I suppose one would have to then decide if it was worth writing in the first place and then figure out what one expected from such an endeavor. Of course, a lovely signed photograph would not go unwelcome. On the other hand, if by chance you do in fact read this letter, infinitesimal though said chance may be, it would be wise to start an actual conversation, n’est pas? I could go the route of Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in You’ve Got Mail and start such a letter by pretending we were already in the middle of a discussion. Do you like bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils?

All joking aside, I am a fan of your work. In Harry Potter, when you were relatively unknown, I thought you were the cutest actor next to Sean Biggerstaff (I can think of several jokes for that last name). He played Oliver Wood (and again it’s too easy, they must have cast him on purpose for that alone), the Gryffindor Quidditch captain. I was happy to find another guy to crush on in the series – it’s too weird to think of Daniel or Rupert in that way as I’m your age, give or take a few months, and we saw them grow up from age 11. I’m glad you joined another book series franchise; you make the perfect Edward Cullen — I said so even when fans weren’t sure you could pull it off way back in the pre-production stage of the first Twilight film, before the whole thing exploded and gained a mass following.

Speaking of said following, I have always wanted to ask you what you thought of the fame that surrounds you. For the MTV Twitter interview (which frankly didn’t include hardly any Twitter based questions) I asked them to relay the following, “What would you ask or say to Paul McCartney, if you met him?” I think Beatlemania is the only thing that can compare to the mania that follows you when you step outside or show up anywhere. Would you ask him about music? Maybe to play a jam session with you? Or would you swap fan stories (especially about girls) – and would they be ones you both classified horror stories or not? I want to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.

Here’s hoping your career will take you even farther and to the success of all your current and future projects both in film and out.

Very Best,
Keira

So what do you think and submit your opinion to the poll!

Will Robert show up on my doorstep declaring passionate love for me because of this letter?

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The 5 Hottest Actors Under 35

(Ordered by Birth Month then Day then Year)

1. Tom Welling

April 26, 1977 (age 33)
Clark Kent – Smallville TV Series

2. Robert Pattinson

May 13, 1986 (age 24)
Edward Cullen – Twilight Saga

3. Daniel Radcliffe

July 23, 1989 (age 21)
Harry Potter – Harry Potter Saga

4. Matt Bomer

October 11, 1977 (age 32)
Neal Caffrey – White Collar TV Series

5. Zac Efron

October 18, 1987 (age 22)
Troy Bolton – High School Musical Trilogy

Things they share in common? Besides my love for them? Dark hair, light eyes, and super fine everything else. Here’s a towel to wipe your drool.

Showtime: Who is hottest?

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Twilight Eclipse Party Ideas: Invitations, Food, and Supplies!

Are you a Twilight fan looking to put together a blowout Eclipse party? Yes? Great! I’ve got everything covered from games to food and more. My comprehensive party guide will help you plan the perfect Twilight Eclipse movie party or Twilight Eclipse birthday party.

Making Your Twilight Eclipse Invitations:

For the DIYer I totally recommend grabbing the official fonts from Bella and Edward.

Below is an image I made with Adobe Photoshop using the ribbon from the Eclipse book cover with Edward Cullen’s Be Safe font.

It reads:

Dear Friend,

You are cordially invited to attend the Eclipse movie party hosted by Team Humans. The plans are that everybody will meet up at the movie theater several hours before the movie starts to ensure best seating. Afterward we will all head back to Chief Swan’s place and spend the night.

Movie: Eclipse
Date: June 29th, 2010 -June 30th, 2010
Time: 6 pm – 11 am
Where: Port Angeles Movie Theater

Send your R.S.V.P to my sister, Alice, as she is coordinating with all the Teams. Please indicate whether you are Human, Vampire, or Werewolf. You will need to bring at least $10 to buy your ticket. Hope to see you there!

Yours Ever,
Edward Cullen

If you like my Eclipse movie invite, you can download base invite image here. (It’s sized as a standard 8 by 11 piece of paper.) Then using the fonts you downloaded from Bella and Edward add your party text and information. Please right click to save to your desktop.

More Twilight Eclipse Invitations:

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Eclipse Party Food

I’ve got an Eclipse food idea for every Team. Check them out below:

Team Humans will love Pizza Fondue:

Ingredients

1 3/4 cups water
1 tablespoon butter
1 (6-ounce) can tomato paste
2 (5.5-ounce) cans tomato juice
1 (1 3/8-ounce) packet spaghetti sauce mix
1 (8-ounce) bar mozzarella cheese
1 (8-ounce) bar sharp Cheddar cheese
1 (6-ounce) package sliced provolone cheese
1 Bakery French bread loaf

Steps

1. Set fondue pot or medium saucepan on medium heat. Combine water, butter, tomato paste, tomato juice and dry spaghetti sauce mix in fondue pot, stirring until smooth.
2. Reduce heat to low and simmer 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Meanwhile, dice cheese into 1/2-inch cubes. Add cheese, in small amounts, stirring constantly until cheese is melted.
3. Cut bread into 1-inch cubes for dipping. Serve. (Makes 12 (1/2-cup) servings.)

CALORIES (per 1/12 recipe) 340kcal; FAT 18g; CHOL 50mg;
SODIUM 959mg; CARB 29g; FIBER 1g; PROTEIN 17g;
VIT A 16%; VIT C 17%; CALC 33%; IRON 9%

Team Vampires will love Frozen Party Juice. It’s to die for!

Ingredients

2 c. boiling water
2 pkg. fruit flavored Jello (strawberry or cherry is good)
6 c. cold water
1/2 c. sugar
1 can frozen orange juice (sm.)
1 lg. can pineapple juice
1 qt. ginger ale

Serves 50

Steps

1. Add boiling water to Jello. Dissolve.
2. Add cold water, fruit juices and sugar.
3. Make the day before and freeze.
4. Let thaw a few hours before serving and add ginger ale.
5. Frozen cherries, strawberries, raspberries or mashed bananas may be added.

Team Werewolves will howl for Spice Cup Cakes:

Ingredients

1/2 cup shortening
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups flour
1 cup buttermilk
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon allspice
1/4 teaspoon cloves

Steps

1. Preheat oven to 375°F.
2. Cream the butter or other shortening, if butter is not used, with a spoon.
3. Gradually add the sugar, beating with a large spoon or whisk.
4. When the mixture is light and creamy, add the egg yolk which has been beaten until it is a light lemon color.
5. Sift the flour, soda and spices together and add them alternately with the milk.
6. Then fold in the stiffly beaten egg white.
7. Bake in a greased muffin pan for twenty minutes until a toothpick inserted in center of a cup cake comes out nearly (not quite) clean.

Twilight Eclipse Party Supplies

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If you like this post be sure to check out my New Moon Bash: Party Ideas, More New Moon Movie Party Ideas, Eclipse Party Game Ideas and Fresh and Fun Twilight Eclipse Party Ideas for Games, Favors, and Supplies for more Twilight party ideas.

Become Smitten with Twilight’s Biting Appeal

I am very upset with Associated Press Movie Critic Christy Lemire’s review of Twilight. She gave the film 1.5 Stars and wrote a very unappealing look at the book’s film adaptation. I thoroughly enjoyed the film and I think the review was written to be controversial rather than an adequate depiction of the movie. I don’t know why critics try to take the fun out of something, but I am determined she was just being a sourpuss about the whole affair.

I went to the midnight premiere last night wearing one of my handmade Twilight pendants. I sat there in my seat waiting for the movie to start for nearly two hours and chatted with a nice girl who came dragging along a friend who wasn’t at all interested in the movie or books. We were both Edward fans and had similar opinions and views of the books and the waiting time was spent very pleasurably. I commend the theater for opening up seating immediately instead of making us wait outside. The one question we both asked was:

Would the movie live up to the hype?

I say it did. Sure there were some over the top segments, but it was done in accordance to the book. The slow-down filming of the scenes pushed it to the level of being too much. This mostly occurs with the introduction of the supermodel vampires – wonderfully cast and in the biology scene when Edward first gets a whiff of Bella’s pungent and lethal scent. It was unintentionally funny, and I think watching it a second time away from immature boy commentators will be thoroughly acceptable instead of slightly laughable.

Thoughts on the Casting:

Bella was perfectly cast with Kristen Stewart. She made watching the slightly awkward and shy Bella Swan very enjoyable not at all the sullen face Lemire makes her out to be. (Her hair I could kill for – gorgeous!) The sexual/romantic tension between Stewart and Robert Pattinson, playing vampire Edward Cullens, was phenomenal. Very hot kiss scenes between them (once again would be more enjoyable without the immature boys yelling across the theater… and that’s saying something because the scenes were amazing even with the commentary going on.)

The Cullens family was wonderfully cast too. I was worried with how many unknown names (at least to me) that were appearing throughout the film that it would fall short of readers’ expectations. Alice played by Ashley Greene was perky, cute, and fun. Jackson Rathbone played a seriously sexy Jasper. I loved him in the film and could watch him as often as Bella and Edward. Jasper is the newest Vegan vampire and it’s very hard for him to be around humans – hence the nearly always present expression of pain on his face.

Lemire mentioned that Rosalie only had one expression – the sneer and scowl. Well if Lemire has read the books Rosalie is the disapproving vampire. She doesn’t like Bella and all Bella ever sees her do is sneer and scowl. Rosalie does provide some good humor at the start of the flight from danger scenes.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen is also one sexy vampire. Yum. He plays the hot fatherly doctor figure very well. Of the vampires, he looks most like a vampire. The others are as pale as Bella in most instances.

The high school mortals were also amazing in their roles. The film built up their friendship quickly without much dialogue. I could easily believe that the group had been friends for years. Eric and Mike were fantastic. Jessica and Angela too. Jessica provided a lot of humor to her scenes because you can see where her thoughts were all the time based on her facial expressions.

Bella’s father and mother were similarly excellent choices, though I agree with Lemire’s comment on the bad cop style mustache for Billy Burke.

Jacob and the rest of the Quileute Tribe were done well. I have never been a Jacob fan by any stretch of the imagination but I enjoyed him in this movie. I did hear on the way out of the theaters that some girls were switching loyalties to Edward. I thought Jacob was pretty cute – apparently they didn’t agree.

Casting gets a 5 out of 5.

Thoughts on Special Effects:

Lemire says Twilight was a low budget film. I don’t know what that means, or how much Twilight ran on so I can’t really comment on money to visual effects and ask something like where did all the money go?

Edward’s flying through the trees reminded me of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. It was more choppy than the Chinese film and harder to get behind. This goes very much into the over the top area. The meadow sequence was perfectly acceptable. I also enjoyed his second run through the trees and climbing up them with Bella on his back. That was easier to believe in a way. Sort of Spider-Manish. I also liked his pet name for her in spider monkey. Much better than sweetheart, baby, luv, honey, sexy, etc. we hear most of the time. It’s unique and therefore special.

The ballet studio sequence was wonderful. I can only imagine how hard it was to edit out all the camera and extra people and I’ve seen the behind the scenes look at the ballet studio and what they were doing. It was amazing! I liked it a lot and I sure most moviegoers will too.

Back to the meadow – Edward as his sparkly vampire self could have passed easily any sunny day in San Francisco as a Queen with glitter decorating his whole body. I could see the diamond comment, but it wasn’t as noticeable or excessive as the books made it out to be. If all vampires looked like that in the sun they should just move to California and nobody would notice or look twice.

Ending:

The ending was great with prom. Jacob showed up but didn’t get to dance with Bella. I’m so vindictive that I giggled on the inside at this, striking up a point for Edward. Very possessive returning to Bella’s side when he spies the soon to be werewolf.

The gazebo reminded me of a lot of dancing sequences in other high school films… for instance A Cinderella Story. But I loved how he picked her up and had her dance with him. As they were dancing the other couples noticeably left the gazebo giving Edward and Bella a few private moments at the end. The parting words were sweet and the moment sizzling even as it was tender.

Overall I give this movie 4.5 Stars. A must see for any Twilight fan and a chance for non-Twihards to become smitten with Twilight and its biting appeal.

Final Eclipse Trailer is Here! Take a Look:

This trailer focuses more on the deaths, killings, suspense and mystery side of Eclipse instead of the love triangle. It appears to balance the escalating tensions and threat of Victoria more than the book did, which is good. Boys might even like it… just a little. ;)

10 Things I Love about the Final Trailer:

  1. We see snow! I am of the opinion this must be the tent scene and the final confrontation between Edward, Seth, Bella, and Victoria. I can’t wait for the tent scene, how about you?
  2. Seattle looks creepy and a bit otherworldly. It’s a good solid introduction to the city and world outside of Forks. Too bad it’s making for the murder capital of the US.
  3. We get to see more of the newborn army. Hurrah! Lots and lots of them – can you feel the hairs on the back of your neck rising?
  4. Jane and her guard as they come into Washington to observe the goingons. From what little we see it clears up some loose ends from the book on if the Volturi liasions arrived early and did nothing in hopes of the Newborn Army clearing up their little Cullen problem. What do you think?
  5. Edward pushes a tree over. Haha. :)
  6. Victoria’s red hair is the brightest color in the whole trailer, have you noticed? It’s kind of cool. If it was a little less orange and a little more red red it would look like blood.
  7. The newborns climbing out of the water. Very ghoulish.
  8. We see Bella’s ring! Now where’s all the yummy groping?
  9. We see three of the wolves coming out of the forest… stalking… getting ready to fight.
  10. Wolves pouncing on newborns… poor newborns.

What did you like from the new trailer?

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Who is Bree Tanner and Why Does She Get a Novella?

Stephenie Meyer is releasing a novella on June 5, 2010 in the US called The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, which chronicles the last weeks of Bree Tanner’s life as a vampire.

Book Details:

  • Page Count: 192 pages
  • Hardcover Price: $13.99
  • Amazon Price: $7.69

$1.00 of the proceeds from each book will go to the American Red Cross to assist aiding the earthquake victims of Chile and Haiti.

  • English Ebook Version: $0.00 from June 7 to July 5, 2010 at www.breetanner.com
  • Foreign Readers: Don’t worry the June 5th release date will be adhered to by Little Brown’s UK, Australian and New Zealand partner publishers.

Buy: The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner: An Eclipse Novella

But as I’m sure you’re all wondering, why Bree Tanner? Let’s take a look:

Character Description:

Bree Tanner has a slight build with chin length dark hair and bright red eyes, indicating her newborn status and also her diet of human blood. Bree was probably around the age of fifteen at the time she was turned into a vampire.

Character Bio:


Bree Tanner is the young vampire girl in Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Saga. She makes her appearance at the end of Eclipse, the third novel in the series. Her creator was Victoria, the redheaded mate of James who was killed by the Cullens at the end of Twilight.

What makes Bree special is that she’s the only newborn vampire to snap out of the blood frenzy and surrender. She’s granted mercy by the Cullens (most probably Carlisle who doesn’t see the point in useless killing).

Unfortunately for Bree, the Volturi finally got around to acting on the rumors of a newborn hoard in Seattle, Washington. They send Jane as their representative in this matter. She and her entourage of Volturi guards arrive on the scene and see to the cleanup just after the battle between the newborns and Team Forks (werewolves and Cullens.) It is believed that Jane’s timing is deliberate.

After questioning Carlisle about the newborn army, Jane tortures Bree with her cruel gaze. Bree quickly gives up her name and the fact that she never met Victoria, only Riley, her right hand. Bree also reveals that the army was under the assumption that the Cullens were going to destroy them. This attack was meant to be preemptive or so they thought. The were also promised a reward for successfully killing the Cullens and Bella. They were promised the city of Forks and all the humans in it to appease their terrible thirst.

Jane reminds the Cullens (and readers) that the Volturi offer no second chances to anyone who breaks the rules, even if they don’t know that there are rules to obey.  In quick order Bree is killed by Felix on Jane’s command.

Thus ends the short afterlife of Bree Tanner.

Buy: The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner: An Eclipse Novella

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