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This post was written in response to the Miami Book Examiner's defense of Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley as one of the five most romantic literary couples.

Point One: Great literary romances develop in a believable way.

The Book Examiner would have you believe that because J.K. Rowling had seven books to write that the love story between Harry and Ginny developed naturally over time. To that I say prove it because what I read was not a realistic love story.

Ginny is all but ignored as the younger sister to Ron Weasley until book five. Book five she joins the secret DA club in order to learn how to defend herself when the Ministry was determined to make sure that the children did not know how to defend themselves. The same could be said of Cho, Luna, Hermione, and half a dozen other girls ranging from the Quidditch team to rival housemates.

Then Harry gets a green eyed monster in his stomach in book six and totally acts out of character for the whole book not just when he's around Ginny. Considering Rowling's history of introducing little seeds that explode into a major plot point, I figured it was the Amortentia potion at work. Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in the wizarding world and was used throughout book six to show how it influenced Voldemort's life. It made sense for JKR to use it as an influence on Harry's life as she has manipulated several similarities of the same ilk. (Unless there is a book eight that proves this interpretation of the sixth book to be true, Harry/Ginny can't be explained away as a the case of Amortentia. That leaves just bad writing.)

Book seven Harry and Ginny are separated and exchange no communication but by the end of the story they are happily married seventeen years later with three kids. Riiiiight.

Point Two: Great literary romances are based on a mutual admiration and respect for the other's strengths and talents.

So Harry admired feared Ginny's bat boogey hex, but honestly that spell is not the stuff of romance. Harry had more respect for Hermione's brains and puzzle solving skills. In fact, Hermione shows the most strengths and talents in the entire series and by this reasoning alone she should have been Harry's match. After all the smart and witty Elizabeth Bennet fell in love with the popular and wealthy Mr. Darcy and Hermione and Harry play those roles far more convincingly than Ginny and Harry.

Heck, Harry greatly respected Luna even if he thought she was sometimes a little weird. He took her on a date too. Why not Luna over Ginny? Luna would have been a great candidate. She shared loss with Harry and like Harry knew what it was to be lonely. She also admired him for his own worth not because of the Boy-Who-Lived nonsense Ginny was always going on about in the earlier novels.

Point Three: Great literary romances are willingly sacrificial.

What did Ginny sacrifice? Or Harry for that matter when it came to the relationship? For those that read book seven you know the ending and the sacrifice Harry made can back me up that he would have made it whether or not Ginny even existed.

Point Four: Great literary romances feature a well-matched pair.

How are Harry and Ginny a well-matched pair? She's his number one fangirl and he's the savior of the wizarding world. Her talents are limited. Rowling built up the history behind the magical meaning of number seven but never gave the 7th Weasley child anything to make her unique, except perhaps making her the only female sibling in the bunch. Hermione was the smartest witch of the age, Cho the lovliest, and Luna the most unique with the ability to see and process the world in a different way than most. Ginny can't even stand on her own two feet and say she was a challenge to him on the Quidditch Pitch because it was Cho not Ginny who battled Harry in game matches.

Point Five: Great literary romances celebrate the steadfast and unwavering love of the underdog.

Of the girls: Hermione, Ginny, Cho, and Luna. Only Hermione and Luna can be considered underdogs because Ginny and Cho were exceedingly popular in their years. Hermione was ostracized originally because of her intelligence and showy talent and Luna because she was seen as odd for her appearance, speech, and beliefs.

Conclusion:

Harry and Ginny never stood a chance against literary romantic couples. Not only because of those reasons but also because H/G had no real on page romance. Rowling condensed everything about their courtship to a few paragraphs where Harry reminisced in book six that the time spent with Ginny didn't even seem like his own life. Their total time on page is less than 2% of the whole series. Rowling's best romance was the one she didn't expressly show us and that was James Potter and Lily Evans. What are your thoughts?

Originally posted 2009-02-18 17:41:41. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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There are some things that just make it impossible to continue reading a book. So let's be blunt about the stuff that really ticks us off...like a lot.

How many of these romance novel suicides have you run across?

• Have your heroine or hero willingly/actually cheat on the other.

Sometimes the hero or heroine find out about the plans to cheat and make their contingency plans to turn the tables. The end result is the wandering partner never winds up actually cheating. The only concern I have is why the non-cheating lead wants to stay with the wandering-lead after finding out.

• Make one of your romantic leads completely peripheral to the story, until its final chapters.

Can we say Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley? Dude, that was so left-field, I don't care what you say to the contrary.

• You ignored the “declaration” scene or scenes.

As Pamela Regis says the declaration makes for many a varied plot line. And of course we want the “I love yous!” *cough*Mr. Darcy*cough.*

• Your characters aren’t likeable or boring or both.

Stupid characters are also among the first to induce wallbanging. You know the ones I'm talking about. They are the characters whose actions and motivations are so beyond the realm of normal thinking as to be on another planet. There's even a name for the heroine of this breed: too stupid to live. Her actions are shockingly similar to the heroines who will do moronic things that get them killed or nearly killed in horror movies.

• You created a ridiculous amount of angst for nothing more than your own amusement.

For instance: the hero’s estranged wife is a narcissist-nympho with the hots for servants and whips. She also kept all knowledge of his child from him and disappeared. The heroine was abused sexually by her father and his cronies, nearly raped several time thereafter, feels guilty for “killing a man” while defending herself from his attack… and on and on and on… The Price of Desire by Jo Goodman.

C'mon did you really need THAT much drama to create a decent story?

• Your writing is passive or the style strange.

The novel completely and irredeemably lacks any connection to the reader as to be rendered emotionless.  I don't want you to tell me how awesome said hero is --  SHOW me with your words how awesome he is.

• The diction you picked for the sex scenes is a turn off.

Readers even share the sex words that make you go EWWWWWW. Granted this is pretty subjective, but it’s best to be aware of these reactions. Some common sense is really all that's needed here.

• You gave your heroine a demonic pregnancy that winds up killing her.

Literally! So yea, the baby is a little demon, it eats its mother from the inside out and makes her want to drink blood as if it's as normal as Coca-Cola. (Breaking Dawn, what a way to burn a lot of readers while being distinctly unromantic at the same time.)

Someone needs to contact the creators of Angel and learn a bit or two about demonic pregnancies. *cough*Darla birthing Connor*Cordelia birthing Jasmine*cough.*

• You failed to follow through.

Ever read a novel that had such intensity and heat between the hero and heroine with the author building it up and up and up then failing to follow through with an equally delicious bedroom (wherever) scene? Nothing like a fade to black to ruin the mood. Even more so in a modern-day, non-inspirational, written romance.

Anti-Climatic scenes, of any kind, are not attractive. Be brave, suck it up and write a decent ending! Maybe then, I'll purchase your next book.

• You flirted with romance taboos and missed the mark.

For example, some of the strongest taboos I know of are about sex and pregnancy. Abortions and morning after pills are still unheard of in novels, though times might be changing. We will have to wait and see.

I'm not saying reach for the moon here, just step outside of the box a little and do it well. If you are going to take a risk, make it a well-thought out one. Perhaps then, I won't give you a review of "1 star" and pelt your novel across the room.

~*~

Clearly this isn't a complete list. What are some other examples you can think up of what not to write? Do share!

(*Thanks to Sasha Muradali of the The L ittle Pink Book for inspiring me with "What NOT to Tweet: 10 Ways to Commit Social Media Suicide." You can read her trilogy on business, public relations and social media "don'ts" here.)

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