How I Screwed Up My First Romance Novel

passing wind of loveGuest Blog by John Blumenthal, co-author of Passing Wind of Love

Inspired by the gazillions of dollars people are making in the romance novel genre, I decided to write one with a friend, Barry Golson. Granted, the genre is dominated by women, but so what? How hard could it be?

Besides, Barry and I weren’t exactly neophytes. Some years ago, we’d cut our teeth on a short romance novella called Love’s Reckless Rash, written under the pen name Rosemary Cartwheel. Granted, it was a spoof but it gave us a feel for the lingo. We knew our way around the territory.

Sort of.

But this time, we vowed to write a straight one. Our heroine would succumb to fiery passion, flaming eroticism, burning desire and lots of other forms of romantic arson.

Sure, there would be challenges. First, we would have to attempt to see things through a female’s perspective, which meant that power tools would not figure prominently in the plot.  Also, we don’t know anything about romance because we’re guys and we don’t understand things like why women like candles so much. We asked our wives for help but they thought the idea of guys – especially us — writing a romance novel was… well… idiotic.

We decided to ignore them.

Having written Love’s Reckless Rash as a period piece, we felt comfortable with the historical approach. It would take place in Jane Austen’s era. There would be dukes and earls and princes, all of them incredibly horny because in those days first base meant getting beyond the bustle.

The era’s sexual repression also appealed to us as did the language of the day -– words like “hither” and “hence” and “bodice” (although we had to look up “bodice” in a dictionary.)

So far so good. We mapped out a story. Now, all we had to do was fill the pages. Easy right?

Nope.

Ten pages into it, we encountered problems. Every time our story required us to describe ball gowns, sensuous fragrances, the intricacies of corsets or most importantly, the mysteries of the female heart, we’d get stuck.

How did we compensate for our ignorance? Simple. We went for laughs. Again. We simply couldn’t write it without cracking up.  Every time we tried to craft a lurid sex scene we couldn’t resist a punch line.

Often, we’d start a sentence with the best of intentions, but end up with this:

“I have never felt my heartstrings pulled so sharply as they are being pulled at this moment. I feel as if they will snap, and my heart will be flung across the garden into yonder lake.”

“She knew her One True Love was out there somewhere, practicing cruel expressions in the mirror, opening his shirt just so, and in general posing rakishly, roguishly, and redundantly.”

“’Sir, kindly remove your nose from my bosoms this instant! Bosoms are not places into which one inserts one’s nose. If bosom nosing is a custom in this vile place, it is not one that I care to have performed on my bosoms!!’”

You get the idea. Eventually, we succumbed to temptation. We expanded our original spoof to novel length, sending our heroine on new adventures to foreign places where she would encounter a variety of slow-witted potential paramours of different nationalities, and upper-class twits, most of who would –- of course — ardently attempt to unravel her sixteen petticoats. We titled it, Passing Wind of Love.

In other words, we fell back into the ditch.

And we still don’t understand why women like candles so much.

Passing Wind of Love Blurb:

Based on the 1984 cult classic, “Love’s Reckless Rash”, (which the Cincinnati Inquirer called “A gem…a biting romance parody”), “Passing Wind of Love” takes our heroine, Vanessa Hardleigh-Bourne-Bryte, to new heights of romantic hilarity and expands her adventures to new places where she is chased by a variety of new ardent lovers.

Given to swoons, impromptu raptures and lapses of extreme dimness, young Lady Vanessa is possessed of a dazzling Beauty that causes 19th-century noblemen to go into cardiac arrest Inevitably, she meets her One True Love–the rakish, reckless, roguish Duke of Earl–in this picaresque tale set in semi-Victorian England and semi-barbaric America. It’s for lovers of wordplay, literary banter and flagrant historical inaccuracies – Jeeves meets Emma. (That would be Wodehouse meets Woodhouse, wouldn’t it? Never mind.

Its cast of characters–nearly all with either a screw loose or no brains to speak of–include Lord Gastleigh (upper class twit), Trapper Jacques (loathes bathing) Dowager Duchess Maggie (from downtown Abbey), the Queen of England (very stout), Prince Albrecht (in the can), Lord Roscoe Jagger (demanding satisfaction), Wyatt Earp (lightning fast), Beau Weevil (lightning slow) and Thaddeus Cruise (short, handsome,).

Her adventures take her from the Queen’s dysfunctional court to a Mississippi steamboat piloted by Mark Twain to the body-littered streets of Tombstone, to the burlesque stages of olde Hollie Woods, thence to a nunnery where she must uncover a dark family secret from a silent Trappist monk via charades.

Every man who meets Vanessa becomes hopelessly smitten, while she tries valiantly to save herself for the always-bronzed and ever-chiseled Duke of Earl, not without a slew of sexual close encounters and pratfalls too embarrassing to reveal here. Passing Wind of Love is more than just a parody – it skewers religion, money, historical myths, English nobility, racism, gun control and show business. For sure, it’s the only romance novel directed at smart readers of both genders. (Don’t worry guys, Jane Austen doesn’t show up, although Darcy has a cameo.)

This fast-paced novel of high romance, glittering style, damnable puns and low intrigue will make you cheer for its indomitable heroine, sneer at its quirky villains and weep with laughter. You won’t be able to put it down. (Not without damaging your Kindle.)

Buy: PASSING WIND OF LOVE: A Hysterical Historical Romance

Review: Velvet by Xavier Axelson

Velvet by Xavier AxelsonReviewed by Sandra Scholes

Synopsis: Medieval times are the setting for this novel. It is Axelson’s first full length one, and it isn’t about to disappoint. Young Virago is a royal tailor and works at court, taking over the previous tailor, his father, who was killed in an accident. He knows he has to keep up the family trade as a lot of folk are relying on him for court fashions. He has a deep longing for Prince Duir even though he played with him as a child, he loves him, but as it is a forbidden love, he has to keep it a secret. When Virago gets a new cloth sent to him from outside of the kingdom, he is amazed at its beauty and feel. He finds it is called velvet, and it takes his breath away, just as Seton, the court lute player fuels his deep passion for another man to be alone with.

Review: As Virago is around court, his new position allows him to converse with royalty just as his father had, and in one way it is good as he gets to be around Prince Duir, his one true love, but he doesn’t see him as he should – Duir isn’t the sort of prince to be trusted as once his father gives him the position of king, he becomes cruel and unworthy of the title. The velvet Virago gets sent to him seems to have a life of its own. It is an entity that invites the fulfillment of urges, both good and bad, and even those never before known.

There is a sense of foreboding, and duality about this story as Virago lives and works around great privilege, but also gets to see the horror of what his true love, the now King Duir is capable of – murder and slaughter are seen as nothing to him, yet Virago still has a rose-tinted view of him. The king soon has an interest in Seton even though Virago has also fallen for him, so that could inspire a menage situation. There are so many opposites in this story, it is what makes it wonderful to read. Virago is prepared to take the rough with the smooth when dealing with the king, while he likes the smooth love he has found from being with Seton. Love is at the root of all this, and it is a true, honest love, but it is questionable whether it is a lingering one.

It is interesting that Xavier chose the name Virago as it is taken from the Latin words Vir for virile man, and ago to apply to a woman, which means a woman who displays male qualities. Virago in this is a virile man once he is exposed to the velvet, but also with the help of Seton, he can come to realize not everyone is as nice as he imagines.

Naughty Bits: They are nice and steamy! As I mainly read LGBT novels written by women, I found this an interesting diversion from the norm. The idea of opposites attracting, and also showing two sides of a series of people made it easy to identify to the characters. The writer is able to take the reader to his chosen world and let them enjoy it while shocking them too.

What’s the verdict? There are things that aren’t explained much, like Virago’s past, but that doesn’t make you like the story any less. This is a sensual and erotic page turner for those rainy days off.

Rating: ★★★★½

Buy: Velvet

Get into Bed with Mary Wine (Author Interview)

trouble with highlandersKeira: As an author of 20+ works, what is your process? Do you have any tips for perseverance or obtaining a steady/growing word count?

Mary Wine: Hello Folks! It’s grand to be here! Thanks for having me over to blog. I’m really excited to have The Trouble with Highlanders making its way into your hands.

It’s a constant battle of good vs the evil distractions of the internet. Okay and chores and of course the parrot. It is my main job to hold and love the parrot. LOL. You know, like any job, you’ve got to be focused. There are going to be times you want to just sleep in or leave early or log onto Facebook and play silly games. But if you want to finish your book, you’d better strap your little tail into the pilot seat for the long haul. ‘How bad do you want it’ really fits. I keep a word count log and make myself stick to it. The other thing I keep is a log of other things I do. This helps me identify wasted time when I sat down in front of the TV or something else non-productive. It’s always surprising to me to discover where my hours are slipping away into.

Keira: What is your favorite reenactment? If you could travel back in time to the real deal, would you?

Mary: I love all time eras. I met my husband at a renaissance faire and we still go. He kisses the back of my hand and we dance period dances. I think he might just be going for the sword fighting…wink. I might travel back if I were in control. History is full of brutal realities from violence to bacteria. Would I love to sit in the court of Elizabeth the first and just watch? You bet! But I’d think twice about how to do it because it’s likely I’d be accused of being a spy. Still, wouldn’t it be something to visit Victorian England? Maybe join one of the cycling women’s groups for an afternoon. I would love to walk through the fabric market and watch a tailor at work.

Keira:  There’s trouble and then there’s The Trouble with Highlanders – explain the difference!

Mary: Trouble…in this case, a big, arrogant Highlander who has never had a woman walk away from him. This isn’t the first time Daphne McLeod has taken a hand in her fate. She hid in a convent to avoid her arranged marriage because it was causing two best friends to fight over her. She also let Norris seduce her so that Broen, her arranged marriage, might renounce her and marry the woman he truly loved. Daphne is her own woman and it was good for Norris to meet his match. The handsome brute just had it too easy with females if you ask me.

Keira: Either/Or: If you were kidnapped like Daphne MacLeod, the heroine, in The Trouble with Highlanders, would you prefer to be rescued by a Laird or a Lord? Why?

Mary: I’d bloody well take care of myself. I don’t drag myself to martial arts class five days a week for nothing. Don’t let the picture of me wearing a bustle fool ya. Just call me Mulan. 

Keira: Use this space to share anything you like!

Mary: I thought I’d show you the afore mentioned parrot…I mean ‘time sucking black hole’ but she seems to think she’s the office manager. Lol.

This is Ginger. She is an umbrella cockatoo. Ginger is about five months old and I’m the insane person who fell in love with her. She can employ an almost impossible tractor ‘cuteness’ beam that pulls all humans toward her. Once in your arms, she purrs and lets one cuddle her endlessly. This is all designed to make me forget that she throws her food all over the floor.

Thanks for having me over. You can find me on Facebook and Twitter!

Mary Wine

MaryWine.com

Buy: The Trouble with Highlanders

If You Could Live in Any Period Setting and Fall in Love, When Would You Go?

Guest Post by Sandra Scholes

I am a lover of period romance novels, and I would like to say that I’m not fussy about what period novels I read, but I would be lying. The Regency period is as romantic as it gets for me; I like the setting, the architecture, the underlying passion that makes them so rakish, even in polite society circles. Everyone has their own period idea of what setting and period they would choose to fall in love. It could be the Middle Ages, Roman times, Georgian, Edwardian or Victorian, but which period sends your heart a flutter enough to fall in love?

1.) Regency

Everyone associates the Regency period with Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice these days as they have read them or seen them brought to life on TV, but there is more to this period than meets the eye, and it’s no wonder it was seen as one of the most romantic periods since the Victorians. One look at Mr. Darcy in his tight pants, taking off his shirt is enough to make any woman swoon!

2.) Edwardian

This was a time when opulence and extravagance still ruled, but for the last time; before World War I took hold on Europe. Edward took over the throne after Prince Albert’s death and Queen Victoria’s mourning, and refusal to keep up with her duties as queen. Casual flings were among the fun they got up to in upper class society as long as they maintained there were a certain amount of rules to follow.

3.) Victorian

Queen Victoria lost her dear husband, Albert and was forever clothed in mourning outfits that showed he had been the only man for her, and she could not take another man at her side. This, for many people was the one of the most progressive eras, but also the most repressive and prudish. There were many new art styles, and scientific discoveries
made in this time. The Bronte’s, Lord Tennyson and Oscar Wilde were some of the Victorian eras most interesting writers; not forgetting Oscar’s scandal with men which has spawned some rather immersive LGBT Victorian writing.

4.) Georgian

George I ruled this era having come all the way from Germany. Not having spoke any English, or fitted in with anyone else in society, he was seen as an unpopular king and spent most of his time in Germany while others considered his being there political. It is considered a decadent era where the filthy rich were idle as lampooned in popular
comedy Blackadder the Third.

5.) Roman

These people had a rich history steeped in discovery, conquest, and enjoyment of all the senses. They favoured romantic attachments with either men or women, or both and had no hang-ups about what others would think about them. Some women think a man in a toga is a sensual thing, and a woman in even less might be a blessing. Think of the
Spartacus: Blood and Sand series where men were gladiators, sweating and fighting shirtless in deadly arenas.

6.) Frontier/Western

This isn’t just about the Indians who featured highly in the setting; women can’t resist the sight of a cowboy in leathers and hat, sporting jeans in calf length boots with spurs. These men are rough and ready to help a woman in distress. Everyone loves a cowboy especially if they are Clint Eastwood or John Wayne no nonsense types. There are the
good guys, but as we all know, the bad guys are out there too and dressed in black.

7.) Medieval

It was a rough time for most ordinary people, but girls still had the time to fantasize about knights in shining armour who would whisk them away from the doldrums of a boring lifestyle. Think of castles, fairy tales and men like King Arthur, along with his Knights of the Round Table. Don’t forget Mordred, Merlin or Guinevere – they play their
part in a difficult period in history.

8.) Elizabethan England

Daughter of Anne Boleyn, Elizabeth Tudor, or Queen Elizabeth as she would come to be known ruled after her father, King Henry VIII died and her mother was beheaded. She swore that she would never marry once she had witnessed her mother being dragged away for execution, and remained so until she died. It didn’t stop her having a few men at her
side, though. The Elizabethan era proved to be a very romantic one where William Shakespeare and Christopher Marlowe were the playwrights of the day, and Sir Francis Drake was one of the best seafarers known.

9.) Dark Ages/Viking

The longboats drifted along treacherous seas, they had gods who were powerful and brave, and the berserkers liked to go about pillaging, but these Vikings liked other things too, they liked their women, and, if the woman was game enough, they could have a handsome, strong, blue-eyed blond hugging them at night beside a nice warm campfire, forever protected and cared for.

10.) American Civil War/Reconstruction

With the Southern belle all primped and preened, often fanning her while men fall all over her by the dozen, this can be seen as one of the best eras to be romanced in even though the war was raging. Women are dressed in satins and silks, with more modern types of make-up than their predecessors. This could easily be one of the most impressive.

11.) Historical Romance

As this one is more about certain earlier time periods such as the Egyptians, Celts, and Greeks, these can be some of the most overlooked eras, even though romantic men and women have had novels written about them; Alexander the Great, and Queen Cleopatra for example.

For me it would have to be the Regency era. Men were rangy and handsome, well-mannered, but underneath it all, their hearts burned with a passion they couldn’t let out to their spouse – many found solace in other women’s bedchambers, but this was an era of beauty and extravagance in every way, from the food they ate, to the luxurious balls they hosted and the women they bedded.

What do you think? Was the Regency period the most romantic? Or are there some you think better settings for romance novels.

Photo Credits: Kıvanç Niş

Review: Everything I Know about Love I Learned from Romance Novels by Sarah Wendell

Genre: Non-Fiction look at Romance Novels

Who is Sarah Wendell? She’s one of two romance bloggers behind Smart Bitches <3 Trashy Books. She knows her stuff. You should listen to her. She’s funny too!

Who Should Read This Book? Non-romance readers wanting to know what’s the big deal about this genre.

Who’s in the Book? Big name authors and you! Readers of Smart Bitches’ romance blog who answered questions while Sarah wrote the book. Sharon S. from LRP is in it too! See page 108.

A Chapter of Note: “We Know Good Sex” describes how romance novels and erotica romance has taught women to love themselves, their bodies, and sex. Several readers share how romances changed their opinions and views about sex and took charge in the bedroom and out because of them. One of their stories might resonate with you.

Review: This book is an important contribution to the genre, but I felt it wasn’t really aimed at me, a romance reader, but more to enlightening people about romances. That I believe is the main and foremost goal of the book and I did not take away from it as much as I did from Sarah’s first book which shared some fun things about the genre itself.

Additionally, the beginning of the book seemed overly defensive of our reading choice, but that could just be me. I got the feeling while reading (and this is my own words) that the standard phrase was “I know I won’t get a multi-gazillionaire, super hot, ex-pirate, tycoon who owns his own Greek island paradise with a hoard of servants, but I’ll get a guy who can be my own heavily flawed hero…” with an underlying “So back off!” and “See? I’m not a delusional female with a hoard of kittens in my cupboards.” Exactly the opposite vibe the book was trying to send. So while I liked parts, there were parts that I didn’t like so much too.

Have you read it? What did you think?

Rating: ★★½☆☆

Buy: Everything I Know about Love I Learned from Romance Novels

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Historical Paranormal Romance Vs Contemporary Paranormal Romance

Guest post by Sandra Scholes

The man of your dreams is nibbling on your neck, and you like what he is doing. Is he a demon in disguise? A vampire waiting to take you as his next meal? Or an incubus? Maybe he’s an angel sent to save you from ever meeting a nasty piece of work werewolf who wants to eat you up – whole! Whoever he is, he might also be a few hundred years old, and getting to know him might be tricky, especially if he’s got parents to take you to see.

In Historical Paranormal Romance, ghosts and other undead are featured a great deal. Contemporary Paranormal Romance has its own interesting problems where the female characters have to deal with hundred-year-old men who look as young as Ed Cullen. Here we tackle the two genres to find out exactly what the differences are.

  1. There’s A Ghost In My Head: In Historical Paranormal Romance the main characters tend to not know why he or she can sense ghosts or spirits, yet in Contemporary Paranormal Romance they know already that they can sense them and can actually communicate with them too.
  2. Be Careful What You Say: The characters have to be careful when they are in polite company in Historical Paranormal Romance, as they can be embarrassed and/or socially ostracized if their supernatural gifts are revealed. Society is easily shocked by the supernatural. Whereas in Contemporary Paranormal Romance they will either be believed or laughed at (at least until the gifts are proven)! There’s no real lasting harm.
  3. Troubled and Troublesome: Some spirits in Historical Paranormal Romance are seen as demons who could cause many problems, and were a scourge against the church of the day – but later in Contemporary Paranormal Romance they are seen as nothing more than cruel or spirits of the long dead people who need to find rest.
  4. Bite Me…Please: Vampires in Historical Paranormal Romance cannot wait to get with a woman who wants to understand them and their nature, while in Contemporary Paranormal Romance; it’s the women who can’t wait to get with the rangy, handsome and entirely deadly vampire.
  5. Touch Me There – Touch Me Anywhere: In Historical Paranormal Romance the man wouldn’t dare touch a lady who is out investigating ghosts and other paranormal activity in a run down mansion house. You are lucky if she has brought her chaperone with her and not her mother! In Contemporary Paranormal Romance, the man just wants to get to know the girl before he gets to the touching and kissing… which leads to the, oh well, just use your imagination. ;)
  6. Lords and LadiesHave Some Fun: In Historical Paranormal Romance women start out by hating the lords they get paired with, whereas in Contemporary Paranormal Romance, they find the vampire or demon lords irresistible and want to know everything about them.
  7. Getting To The Nitty Gritty: Occasionally in Historical Paranormal Romance women always have to unravel the mystery of their birth and find out all kinds of horrid things– the murders, lords, demons, and dwarves– while in Contemporary Paranormal Romance the women already know their background and don’t seem to care, they just want to get to the handsome man at the middle of the story!

What other differences have you noticed between historical and contemporary paranormals?

Finding My Place in the Historical Romance Sub-Genre

by Ashley March, guest blogger and author of Romancing the Countess

I’m so thrilled to be visiting here at Love Romance Passion as I continue celebrating my newest release, ROMANCING THE COUNTESS!

When I first started writing romance, I knew that I would write in the historical romance sub-genre because that’s what I grew up reading and that’s what I loved. But beyond knowing I would write historical romance, I didn’t have any idea what would distinguish my writing from the hundreds of other historical romance writers (many of whom regularly inspire me with their own books).

I started writing my debut, SEDUCING THE DUCHESS, as a sequel to another manuscript (which most likely will never be published unless I revise huge chunks). I was such a novice writer with SEDUCING THE DUCHESS that I had pretty much no plot going in; all I knew was the duke’s character and that he was going to kidnap his wife at the beginning of the book. The greatest thing writing-wise with SEDUCING THE DUCHESS is that it became the book where I finally felt I had found my “voice” as a writer. Voice consists of many things, but outside of the style and tone of the way a writer puts their sentences and words together, to me it also includes the types of characters and stories the author chooses.

With SEDUCING THE DUCHESS I realized I enjoy writing about characters that interest me—not necessarily characters who I want to be best friends with or who I would vote as the next CNN hero, but characters that fascinate me in one way or another. I’d like them to become sympathetic over the course of the story, certainly, but it’s okay with me if they’re flawed at the beginning. When I say “interesting”, I mean they make me want to strip away all of their outer layers and discover who they really are on the inside, why they behave the way they do in others’ eyes.

As I moved on to my second book, I knew I had to write about characters who interested me, but I also realized I want to write about stories that interest me as well—stories that challenge me as a writer. The basic idea for ROMANCING THE COUNTESS—about an earl and his best friend’s wife who are drawn together after their cheating spouses die in a carriage accident—met both of these requirements. I’d certainly never read or heard about a similar historical romance plot, and I knew it would be a challenge to show the hero and heroine getting over the betrayal and deaths of their spouses while at the same time slowly falling in love.

I enjoyed writing both of these books (although I agree with the saying that I truly love when the books are written), and I’m so grateful to have found readers who enjoy my characters and stories just as much as I do. =)

My next book from NAL Penguin, which comes out May 1, 2012 and is titled MY LADY RIVAL, is another such book that consists of, in my opinion, both an interesting story and interesting characters. Although I don’t have official copy I can tease you with yet =) I can tell you that it’s about a wealthy English middle-class dyemaker whose father brought his family up from the slums of London, and his rival, the half-American daughter of the father’s former business partner.

However, if you’ve heard the recent news, you know that I made the choice for MY LADY RIVAL to be my last book with Penguin; I will continue writing as a self-published author. (For the details on this: www.ashleymarch.com/blog.) As I begin this new path in my career, one of the things I have to consider is the decisions I need to make in choosing what I will write. One of the factors that made self-publishing appealing to me is the ability to write anything I want—this means that I can write in any time period or place that I desire. The truth is, this is possibly one of the hardest decisions to make, because I always have ideas. What I can promise you, though, is that I finally know the place I’ve decided to make for myself in the historical romance sub-genre, and that place involves writing about interesting stories and interesting characters. To me, that’s a pretty good place to start. =)

I can’t imagine a time when I’ll stop wanting to write characters in Victorian England, but I also have ideas for many other time periods and places. I’d love to hear your top preferences of the following.

What possibility makes you most excited?

  1. Elizabethan England
  2. Ancient Rome
  3. 14th century Italy (or Italy in any time period)
  4. Other European countries and times, including Russia (be specific, please, if possible—I’m still trying to narrow ideas down myself =)
  5. 1920s New York and Chicago
  6. World War II (different places)
  7. Victorian India and/or China
  8. Morocco/Egypt/South Africa

One random commenter will be chosen to win a copy of my newest book, ROMANCING THE COUNTESS (open internationally)! Last day to enter  LRP giveaway: October 15, 2011.

Also, find out how to win the ROMANCING THE COUNTESS Book Tour Grand Prize of 50+ romance novels by visiting www.ashleymarch.com

Pride and Prejudice: The Wild and Wanton Edition by Michelle M. Pillow

Genre: Classic retelling, erotica romance.

Ahead there be Spoilers…

Summary: The sexual tension in the original P&P has readers begging for Darcy to pull Lizzy into his embrace and ravish her senses with his kiss to *rip her bodice* and that’s what this book promises to deliver. P&P all sexed up and ready to be consumed. It’s actually pretty tame though considering the wildness and wantonness I was expecting from other reviewers.

Review: The style really reminded me of what I heard about P&P&Z and other classic retellings where the second author really just tacked a paragraph here and there into the original plot. I haven’t read those retellings so I can’t compare the truth of those perceptions. While reading P&P Wild and Wanton I enjoyed myself quite a bit, because I was reading it at a time when the story and idea really appealed, but overall the impression was that the new stuff was very minimal (and clearly delineated in the Kindle version I read which bolded or italicized new passages) and didn’t really involve Darcy/Lizzy or Charles/Jane until the very end. It was more focused on Lydia being a slut with the officers (married or not) and Collins getting hand jobs by Charlotte (shudder!)

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Buy: Pride and Prejudice The Wild and Wanton Edition (Wild & Wanton), Pride and Prejudice: The Wild and Wanton Edition (UK)