by Carolyn Brown, guest blogger and author of Getting Lucky
Good morning, Keira and Susan! Thank you for inviting me to your blog today with my redneck slang situations. Down here in my part of the south when Jeff Foxworthy says “You might be a redneck if …” we all can relate very well. We southern women handle situations with words said so softly that it’s tough to decide if they’re insults or compliments.
Getting Lucky has more than a few of those redneck slangisms scattered in it. I’m not sure that a person could write a realistic book about cowboys and sassy, southern women without them. It’s just as much a part of our lives as pecan pie and sweet tea.
So now it’s on to how a southern lass like Julie Donavan from Getting Lucky might react to certain situations. It’s been said that a true southern lady could tell another woman to go to hell and make her look forward to the trip! I expect that’s the gospel truth and could be written in stone and set up at the edge of the front porch steps right beside the coon dog’s watering bowl.
- Marge had one too many tequila shots Saturday night celebrating the "big" promotion. Her mother-in-law makes an unexpected visit, Sunday morning. Marge has a hangover from hell, and opens the door. How should she greet her mother-in-law?
Instead of good morning (Redneck slang): Spit your snuff out Gert and come in. I’ll pour us each a shot of tequila to burn the hair off our tongues. (Mother-in-law downed as many shots as Marge did. Marge was smart enough to check out the mother-in-law before she went to the courthouse and married the son.)
- Jackie and Kev are celebrating their very first wedding anniversary. They're having dinner, clinking wine glasses when all of a sudden Kev's ex-girlfriend walks up to the table and says, "Kev, I thought that it was you-how are you?"
Instead of screaming, "Leave us alone!" (Redneck slang): Well, hello, darlin’. You must be Lois. We’re celebrating a year of happiness. I’ve heard so much about you but no one could be that big of a bitch so I didn’t believe a word of it.
- Having car trouble again, Sarah walks into work late for the second time this week. Her employer says, "You’re late again!"
Instead of, "I'm sorry Mr. T. Rexx" (Redneck slang): My car is female. It has PMS and did not want to fire up this early in the morning. I am female. I have PMS and a gun in my purse and it’s not a good day. Tomorrow is not looking real whoopee either so if you’re goin’ to fire me do it now so I can make the blue light specials at the Wal-Mart store and go file for my unemployment.
- Freshly showered you answer the door for the hunky U.P.S. delivery guy. He's bringing you Carolyn Brown's latest novel, the one you ordered from B&N online. Upon opening the door, he greets you with a smile that would power an entire town during a power outage.
Instead of mumbling incoherently, "I, uh...should, thanks...do I need to...I mean do you, sign that" (Redneck slang): Ooops! That towel just fell right off my body. Please put that package on the table. We’ll tear into it and see if you look anything like Griffin Luckadeau with your shirt all unbuttoned.
- After much deliberation, hesitation, and several other-ations Vicky attends her 10 year high school reunion. Upon entering the reception hall, (Lisa) her old cheerleading captain walks up to Vicky, and exclaims, "Oh, my gosh--you are so fat!"
Instead of giving Lisa a right hook to the jaw… (Redneck slang): Well, sweetheart that stuff hanging on your ass ain’t seen exercise since we were doin’ the splits at the football games, either. And from one old fat cheerleader to another, yellow Spandex is not your friend.
- Steph's been in a dating slump for three years. Post-divorce life hasn't been kind. She takes her son Bobby to baseball practice, when suddenly the new heart-stopping coach ruffles Bobby's hair while saying hello. Coach Slade looks up and winks at Steph.
Instead of Steph panicking and staring open-mouthed at Coach…(Redneck slang): Come on over here honey and let me see what’s in your eye. Little closer. Oh, my, you have such a sexy smile. Well, I can’t find a thing in that droopy eye but I know this little corner bar where we could get a beer and I betcha it would cure the twitch that makes you wink.
- Emily is leaving the theater with her first date since a gut-wrenching breakup and runs into the love-of-her-life-and-ex and his new girlfriend on their way inside.
Instead of Emily introducing her date as a friend or boyfriend (Redneck slang): Oh, my, what has happened to you? Did you just get over the flu or do you have something terminal? You look horrible. And who are you, his nurse? Well, take good care of him, honey. I’d hate for him to give you whatever it is that he’s sufferin’ from. Y’all enjoy the movie now and do make him remember to take his medicine. He’s very forgetful of important things.
- Alice is a tomboy and hates to wear skirts or dresses or makeup, but she wants to snare a man. Not just any man but the man that's been driving her crazy for the last eight years... her brother's best friend.
Instead of Alice attempting to flirt with the clueless man (Redneck slang): Alice is tired of all the craziness and lets brother’s best friend find her sitting on a bale of hay in the barn wearing nothing but a smile and a pair of scuffed cowboy boots and says, “Hello! How do you like my outfit? I wore it specially for you. Hope you like the boots. I can’t walk worth a damn in high heels.”
GETTING LUCKY BY CAROLYN BROWN—IN STORES JANUARY 2010
Book 3 in The Lucky Trilogy
Single mom Julie Donavan is looking for a place to start over. What she finds after buying a small house on five acres is nothing short of a nightmare.
Single dad "Lucky Griffin" Luckadeau has been crossing horns with his elderly neighbor for years. But when his daughter, Annie, decides she wants the new little girl who lives on the feuding property to be her friend, or better yet her sister, the sparks fly.
These two stubborn hotheads, who irritate each other beyond endurance, refuse to admit that it's fate that brought them together. And running from the inevitable is only going to bring a double dose of misery…
About the Author
Carolyn Brown, an award-winning author who has published 36 romance novels for the library market, credits her eclectic family for her humor and writing ideas. She was born in Texas but grew up in southern Oklahoma where she and her husband, Charles, a retired English teacher, now make their home in the town of Davis, Oklahoma. They have three grown children and enough grandchildren to keep them young. For more information, please visit http://carolynlbrown.com/. Be on the lookout for Carolyn’s new series, The Honky Tonk Series, in 2010!
Giveaway: One commenter will win a full set of the Lucky Trilogy (Lucky in Love, One Lucky Cowboy and Getting Lucky). Open to US and Canadian readers of the blog only. Sorry international readers! Enter by asking Carolyn Brown or her character Julie Donavan for dating advice! One entry per relevant comment, multiple entries allowed. Ends: January 19, 2010.
Online Stores
