Top 10 Reasons Why Old Relationships Are Worth Revisiting

All the Boys I Ever KissedGuest blog by Marilyn Kelly, author of All the Boys I Ever Kissed: A Choose Your Own Ending Novel being released on Amazon on April 22.

Do you ever wonder about your old boyfriends? I married my college sweetheart, so it’s been a long time since I kissed another man, but I have some sweet memories. My latest novel is a contemporary women’s fiction called All the Boys I Ever Kissed (A Choose Your Ending Novel), about a widowed travel writer who looks to past boyfriends to find her future. There are three amazing men – a DC firefighter/paramedic, an athletic Argentine millionaire, and a British baron. Which one will win the heroine’s heart? You choose your favorite!

I made this a Choose Your Own Ending Novel because there are three men the heroine falls in love with, and I fell in love with them all while writing the book. It pained me to choose one, so I wrote three different endings thinking I would find a hero I preferred. I didn’t. All three of these men have their flaws and their strengths, and I decided the reader should get to choose their favorite. What do you think of that concept? I also wrote The Man Tell All Q&A because I missed having the men’s point of view in this first-person novel. I broke a lot of rules of the romance genre, but sometimes the writing process won’t follow directions.

We all know dating is hard, and some relationships that didn’t work out in the past might be worth a second look. Of course, abusive relationships are best left behind, but there might be someone who still puts a smile on your face. If you are looking for a new relationship, consider making a list of all the boys you ever kissed. If one of them still floats your boat, find out if they’re available, and reach out to them. Who knows, it might be the start to your happy ending.

I was inspired by a recent guest blog on Why It Didn’t Work Out by Torie James to write the Top 10 Reasons Why Old Relationships Are Worth Revisiting.

  1. You were attracted to each other at one point. As we get older, it seems harder to find people who are physically compatible. Never underestimate the value of physical attraction. It’s a wonderful basis for a loving relationship.
  2. You may have grown because of the breakup. Sometimes people say the most terrible things to each other during an argument, but afterward realize there was more than a grain of truth to the accusations. Maybe leaving your makeup spread out over the bathroom counter drove him crazy. You didn’t do it with the next boyfriend and it wasn’t so hard. Hopefully, you can laugh about it in retrospect.
  3. You will remember each other younger and possibly thinner. Most of us have a flashback when we see people we’ve known for a long time. In our mind’s eye, we recall them with fewer wrinkles. There are times when I look at my husband and tears come to my eyes because he looks just like he did when we met in college. And our children have now graduated. He says the same thing about me, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
  4. You know each other’s faults. There are no unexpected surprises three months into the relationship when so many people reveal their true colors. Even if he hasn’t changed his slovenly ways, you’ve realized there are worse faults. Like cheating on you or yelling at you. At least he brings you flowers.
  5. You miss each other. Sometimes you think about him, and vice versa. Unless you had a truly ugly breakup, there are good memories there if you bring them to light.
  6. You have friends in common who would cheer you on. Most breakups divide friendships along with the other belongings. There’s probably someone you miss among his friends. Besides, if it doesn’t work out your ex, maybe one of his friends will be a fit.
  7. If you have children or pets in common, that’s an even better reason to give love a second chance. I have a hard time with couples who claim to still be best friends but split up anyway. Monogamy is hard, but the shared memories and comfort are worth the trouble. Especially if there are children involved, special effort should be made to work through the problems. Nobody’s perfect, but if there isn’t abuse, find a counselor you both like and learn to forgive.
  8. You have equal power going back into the relationship. This is especially important if you broke up because of a power struggle, but everyone can benefit. An honest discussion can be had right from the start about how chores are going to be divided or other sticky subjects that drove you apart. Just be sure to maintain your sense of humor, and you could have your cake and eat it too.
  9. You understand each other’s lives and are more accepting of the sacrifices. Maybe it used to drive you crazy that he worked such late hours, but now you would appreciate the extra money. Maybe he never understood why you called your mother so much, but now his mother is gone and he wishes he’d called her more. Maybe you’d both be more willing to compromise the second time around.
  10. You loved each other. There was a time when you couldn’t think of anything but making him happy, and vice versa. Unless you now hate him, that spark might still be alive. I don’t believe there’s only one person for each of us, but passionate love doesn’t come easily. Second time around, be sure to nurture each other and maybe the love will last forever this time.

Have any of you reunited with old boyfriends? How did that work out for you?

All the Boys I Ever Kissed – A Choose Your Own Ending Novel blurb.

Lana Patterson wants a husband, but she’s striking out online and with blind dates. Her sister suggests she look to her past to find her future, and Lana starts contacting old boyfriends. She’s been practically housebound since her husband died, so she starts local, in Washington DC.

Captain CPR is Chippendale firefighter hot, but other than his incredible body and compatible sense of humor, Lana doesn’t find him the ideal bedmate or potential husband. Pierce Abrams runs into burning buildings for a living, and she wants a husband who will be there to walk her daughter down the aisle.

Lana grew up as a Foreign Service child and is now a travel writer. Her sister and daughter insist she hit the road, so Argentina and England are her next stops. The first boy she ever kissed is athletic, adventurous, intelligent, wealthy, and the most amazing Latin lover. Unfortunately, Sergio Salazar has a closet full of girlfriends that he claims he’s willing to give up. Lana has her doubts.

Her high school boyfriend has more potential, since his current girlfriend is on the wane. Duncan Claymore is a baron with a castle, and oh so tempting, even introducing Lana and family to the Duchess of Cambridge. It would be a fantasy life, but his conniving sister threatens to derail their renewed love affair.

Three amazing men are all having adventures of their own. Which one will capture Lana’s heart? The reader gets to choose!

Buy: All the Boys I Ever Kissed

All the Boys I Ever Kissed, A Choose Your Own Ending NovelExcerpt:

“What was the best kiss you ever had?” My older sister Marie propped her elbows on my batik tablecloth and adopted her “tell me everything” look, usually as effective as a Jedi mind trick. “Before Jude, of course.”

Best kiss before my soul mate? It had been ages. “I honestly don’t remember.” I glanced through the porch door to the kitchen, where my adorable daughter, Ashley, stood in her soccer uniform arranging cupcakes on a plate. I wasn’t about to discuss my past boyfriends in front of a twelve-year-old tomboy. “I don’t see how that’s relevant to me finding a new husband.”

Marie sat back with a huff, her short black curls a shadowy halo in the fading light. “You haven’t had much luck finding a man, Lana. I’m racking my brain for ideas.”

“I appreciate that, but you can’t hurry love.” What I didn’t appreciate was my dating failures on review, again, no matter how good the intention.

Ashley set dessert on the table and took her seat beside me, her toothy smile a constant reminder of her father. “Mom, don’t you want to remarry?” She and Marie shared a conspiratorial glance. They were clearly on a mission together. “You told me once that snuggling with Dad was your favorite thing in the world. Don’t you miss that?”

Did I ever. Jude had dubbed me the perfect bedmate, always warm and willing. Waking up alone was still tough after two years. “Of course, I do.” I refilled my glass of homemade lemonade, wishing I’d spiked it with some tequila to fortify me for this intervention.

Buy: All the Boys I Ever Kissed

Marilyn Kelly’s Bio:

My Wanton Widows series, published by Ellora’s Cave, is about three accomplished women in Victorian England who are all searching for love, respect, and passion. The first in the series is Sounds of Love about a matchmaking novelist, a scholarly widow and an arrogant earl.

All the Boys I Ever Kissed (A Choose Your Ending Novel) is my first contemporary romantic women’s fiction. If you like The Bachelorette or Mamma Mia, I hope you’ll love this book!

My goal is to make thousands of readers happy and fulfilled. Please let me know if I’ve succeeded. If you would like to receive my newsletter and participate in contests, visit my website, or email me at For everyone who makes a comment here and then goes to my website to sign up for my newsletter, I will send you a gift package in the mail with an acrylic shot glass and a heart-shaped pill case as a thank you. Just mention Love Romance Passion.

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Buy: All the Boys I Ever Kissed

8 Candles Lit for Hanukkah and Jewish Themed Romance

Hanukkah began tonight at sundown. This is night one of eight consecutive nights. To celebrate, I have put together a collection of romances featuring strong Jewish characters, themes or written by Jewish women (or all three!). Those listed here are not an endorsement as I have not read them personally but they looked good and I thought I would share.

Lights of Love:

Everything was set and in place this holiday season for Nancy Gardner until her old flame Mike Powers sweeps back into her life. She thought she had forgotten him, she had built a life without him and his sudden presence disrupted all her plans. Everywhere she went, no matter whether she went to visit family or friends, he was there and the more they saw each other the more she knew she was in trouble as old flames started to spark. Mike has the tough task of convincing her to rekindle their flame.

Scenes from a Holiday:

There are three short stories in this compilation including Eight Dates of Hanukkah, Carrie Pilby’s New Year’s Resolution, and Emma Townsend Saves Christmas. The Hanukkah story is one of commitment phobia on the part of the heroine. Nikki Heller is afraid to marry her kind and loyal boyfriend Mark. A bump on the head causes her to slip into a coma or more to the point a Christmas Carol kind of situation but instead of visiting with the spirits of Christmas she ends up dating eight truly awful men.

Rashi’s Daughters, Book I: Joheved:

This is the first of three novels written about Rashi’s daughters set in medieval France. Rashi is both winemaker and scholar of the Talmud. Book one focuses on the eldest daughter. 39 of 52 reviews at Amazon gave the book five stars. Meticulous research combined with flowing fictional prose weave the tapestry of the novel. Joheved makes a request of her father to learn the Talmud, is betrothed and must keep her knowledge hidden which she does until the first crisis erupts between herself and her husband.

The Red Tent:

Dinah is the only surviving daughter of four sisters married to the same man. “They traded secrets like bracelets, and these were handed down to me the only surviving girl. They told me things I was too young to hear. They held my face between their hands and made me swear to remember.” The Red Tent is more biblical than a strictly Jewish and looks to be very promising as I found out about it scrolling through reviews on other books and this kept cropping up as a recommendation.

The Kommandant’s Girl:

Told during the times of the Nazi occupation of Poland, Kommandant’s Girl is about a bride forced to assume another name and live with her husband’s aunt. During Emma’s stay (under the guise of Anna) she catches the attention of Kommandant Georg Richwalder, number two himself of the General Government, during a dinner party. When it’s clear that her German is exceptional he offers her a position as his assistant. Anna accepts thinking to help the resistance and must struggle with a chemistry she never expected. Will she resist the handsome and charming officer and stay true to her husband? I don’t know, but I’m personally dying to find out!

Dearest Anne: A Tale of Impossible Love:

Dearest Anne does not appear to have a happy ending, which would explain the title even if the circumstances described did not paint a vivid picture of how impossible it was to be in love and stay that way. Rivi is a young artist in the 1970s; she fell in love with her married literature professor, Michaela. Michaela and Rivi if you haven’t guessed are both women and so the impossible aspect of their relationship is taken one step further into the realm of hopelessness.

Jane Austen in Boca:

Imagine Pride and Prejudice but with widowed Jewish women cast in the roles of the Bennet sisters. In other words this tale is about retired Floridians acting out a classic that translates to its sunny setting. With 22 people of 35 people ranking it a five, Jane Austen in Boca looks to be a great retelling as well as a great beach read. Can you just imagine all the wackiness that is bound to ensue? I wonder who is the Mr. Darcy character… anybody read this and want to tell me? Hint. Hint.

Goy Crazy:

Set in high school, this young adult story is about a Jewish girl with a crush that is tired of her good girl ways. Sounding vaguely like Mean Girls, the main character Rachel is desperate to fit into the So Very crowd and spice up her life with a little romance. She even begins to act dumb in math to attract the attention of the very non-Jewish basketball hunk Luke Christiansen. Bound to crack you up!

What stories would you add to the list?