The Top 10 Rules Darcy’s Rock Band Will Never Follow

by Heather Lynn Rigaud, guest blogger and author of Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star

Hey Keira!

I’m so happy to be at your blog today. I love the topic you gave me, it made me immediately think of Entertainment Tonight. So without any more ado, let’s cue the music and bring in Mary Hart to present:

The Top 10 Rules Darcy’s Rock Band Will Never Follow!

Fitzwilliam Darcy is the white-hot leader of the famous rock band Slurry. Rock music’s ultimate bad boy, everyone wants to know what he’ll do next. The rumors of his exploits have become almost as well known as his music! So let’s take a look at all those rules he loves to break.

10. Never break the rules. For all the wildness of the Rock-n-Roll life style, there are some basics that everyone follows. Things like staffing and hotels are pretty much standard throughout the industry. And then there’s Slurry.

Never before have we seen a group like this take all the standards and throw them out the window. And it all goes back to Fitzwilliam Darcy. He’s not afraid to take any rule and change it, if it doesn’t work for him. From tour staff to hotel choices, this man is a world-maker. Within the industry, he’s become well known for his ‘take no prisoners’ attitude. If Darcy wants it done, he’ll do whatever it takes to get it done.

9. Never stop the tour. Rock Tours are big business. Hundreds of people work to put on shows that generate millions of dollars. Tours are how the big bands make the big bucks! But they’re also a big job. Hundreds of hour of planning and logistics are needed to get a show on the road. Record labels are expecting a significant return on their investment. So the word from on high is ‘never stop the tour.’

Except for Slurry. Of the three major tours these boys have been on, they’ve only finished one. The first was stopped at the famous Ramsgate festival, when the lead singer, George Wickham was fired and Darcy took his ball and went home. No one is quite sure of the details, but it was clear that Darcy and Wickham would never work again.

Their second tour went off without a hitch with new lead singer, Charles Bingley. But lightning stuck again during their third tour, when drummer Richard Fitzwilliam was arrested for DUI and sent to rehab. In an unusual move, Darcy cancelled the tour and went into therapy with Fitzwilliam.

Now Slurry is ready to hit the road again. Will they be able to break that losing streak or is this tour doomed from the start?

8. Never expose yourself. Rock and Rollers usually try to keep a boundary between themselves and their fans- but not Darcy! This man has no problem exposing his well-toned torso, with his many artistic tattoos, in concert. In fact, it’d be more of a surprise if he came out wearing a shirt!

The next three rules are all related, so we’ll cover them in a group:

7. Never leave press events early.

6. Never piss off your label.

5. Always make nice with the TV people.

Darcy is well known as being very polite and welcoming to his fans. His reputation for meet and greets is almost as big as his rep for trouble. But all bets are off when it comes to the press.

Darcy has no interest in the plastic people, and his feud with Carson Daly is legendary. He’s well known for not saying a word during interviews and if he shows up for a media event, better get in there fast, because he’ll be leaving ASAP!

Even more remarkable is his complete lack of fear of his record label, Rosings Park, led by the infamous Lady Catherine deBourgh. The Gorgon, as she’s known, has stared down many a super-star and made them feel like they’re were back in minor leagues, but not Darcy. He must a have spine of steel to stand up to her.

4. Listen to your security. Its no surprise that a rock superstar like Darcy has security. In fact, he has a whole team, led by the extremely able Rebecca Nelson. It may seem strange that a six-foot three-inch man is guarded by a girl, but Rebecca has proven her worth time and time again. And that’s a good thing, because Darcy is notorious for ignoring her. You would think that Darcy would listen to the lady he’s paying so much money too, but not our boy. He’s always darting about unescorted in his hot Mercedes coupe, making her job harder than it already is!

3. Never let rumors run wild. The rumors surrounding Darcy are almost as big as he is. But what to believe? They couldn’t all be true, could they? You would think that a star like him would be eager to clear the air on all those wild reports, but just look at this tape. You can see that when Darcy is asked about the rumored lawsuit against him, he just cocks his head and grins at the camera. What are we to make of that? Is it true? Is it false? Clearly Darcy isn’t saying.

2. Never play with groupies. We don’t know what to make of this one. We’ve had his staff, his warm-up bands, and other members of the press swear that Darcy never uses ‘Band-Aids’. They claim he’s a true professional and a perfect gentleman. But at every show, there are clearly ladies hanging around the band and many have been seen leaving the next morning.

Plus, how can you account for all the wild stories? Where there’s smoke, there must be fire, right? But person after person swears it’s not him. Could it be the other members of Slurry? What are we to believe?

1. Never get involved with your warmup band. One fact we can report with certainty is that Slurry has trouble keeping their opening act. In fact, on their current Grind tour, Slurry’s gone through three of them. What’s the problem? You would think that any band would be eager to tour with a top name act like Slurry.

The reason each band gave for leaving were all different, but the fact remains that Slurry goes through them like tissues.

Now Slurry has a new opening act, called Long Borne Suffering. Only time will tell if they can stand the Grind and finish the long North American tour.

Thanks Mary! That’s your gossip report on the Red Hot rock band Slurry and they’re dreamy leader, Fitzwilliam Darcy. What do you think? Do you believe the rumors? To find out the truth, read Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star.

Thanks for letting me share this bit with your readers. I look forward to hearing what they think.

Buy: Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star

Pride and Prejudice: The Wild and Wanton Edition by Michelle M. Pillow

Genre: Classic retelling, erotica romance.

Ahead there be Spoilers…

Summary: The sexual tension in the original P&P has readers begging for Darcy to pull Lizzy into his embrace and ravish her senses with his kiss to *rip her bodice* and that’s what this book promises to deliver. P&P all sexed up and ready to be consumed. It’s actually pretty tame though considering the wildness and wantonness I was expecting from other reviewers.

Review: The style really reminded me of what I heard about P&P&Z and other classic retellings where the second author really just tacked a paragraph here and there into the original plot. I haven’t read those retellings so I can’t compare the truth of those perceptions. While reading P&P Wild and Wanton I enjoyed myself quite a bit, because I was reading it at a time when the story and idea really appealed, but overall the impression was that the new stuff was very minimal (and clearly delineated in the Kindle version I read which bolded or italicized new passages) and didn’t really involve Darcy/Lizzy or Charles/Jane until the very end. It was more focused on Lydia being a slut with the officers (married or not) and Collins getting hand jobs by Charlotte (shudder!)

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Buy: Pride and Prejudice The Wild and Wanton Edition (Wild & Wanton), Pride and Prejudice: The Wild and Wanton Edition (UK)

Review: Mr. Darcy, Vampyre by Amanda Grange

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Amanda Grange picks up where Pride and Prejudice ends. Jane and Elizabeth are getting ready for their double wedding, both eager and anxious about the life spreading out before them. On the way to the wedding, Elizabeth experiences a brief foreboding chill but shrugs it off as wedding nerves. The ceremony goes smoothly, Darcy’s vows stirring deep emotions in both.

It’s when they leave the reception that things start taking a turn for the worse. Through the reflection in the glass of their carriage Elizabeth spies a flash of torment crossing Darcy’s features, but a quick look at the real man shows smooth features. Elizabeth believes she has imagined it… unexpectedly he changes their wedding tour plans and routes them from the Lake District to a direct route to France over the channel.

Elizabeth is unconcerned about this change, but wholly concerned with Darcy. She can’t help but compare her expectations to the reality of her marriage to Darcy. He does not visit her bedchamber the first night or the next or the next. When they are together during the day Darcy is everything attentive, kind, and devoted, but at night he disappears.

As Elizabeth struggles to find reasons for this strange behavior, she meets a dizzying array of friends, family, and strangers over the continent. Some people and places inspire a great deal of trepidation in Elizabeth and she spills her worries to Jane in a series of letters.

It’s not until the last one hundred pages that things really begin to unravel and Darcy’s mysterious behavior is revealed. I was surprised by how flawless the transition was from Austen’s Regency romance to Grange’s Gothic flavored romance. Grange has a talent with words and uses this talent to create a believable paranormal filled with stunningly chilling atmosphere and mystery.

Rating: 3.5 Stars

Buy: Mr. Darcy, Vampyre

An Assembly Such As This by Pamela Aidan- Guest Review

What I love best is seeing multiple perspectives on books that I’m reading, have read, or intend to read. When Sasha sent me this guest review, I was pleasantly surprised. Without knowing it, we were reading the same book trilogy within days of each other! Check out my review of An Assembly Such as This and Sasha’s below!

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By: Sasha Muradali, guest blogger

This is not your typical romance novel, nor would I classify it as romance per se because An Assembly Such As This (Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentlemen) by Pamela Aidan is the author’s take, from the point-of-view of Fitzwilliam Darcy, on Pride and Prejudice, a classic novel, by Jane Austen. However, well-acknowledged, Pride and Prejudice is a love story.

An Assembly Such as This is the first part of a trilogy (Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentlemen) that takes us through the all too familiar journey so many of us have come to love. The other two novels are called Duty and Desire and These Three Remain. This specific volume ventures into the first third of Pride and Prejudice up until when Darcy and the Bingley family leave Hertfordshire for London after the fiasco at the Netherfield Park Ball.

You cannot truly appreciate or understand the depths of this novel without having had read Pride and Prejudice previously. There is a lot that the author takes for chance that you already know.

While, many of us have had our assumptions on that Darcy feels, we’ve never really seen it in writing before. And as someone who is very skeptical about anything that interprets Pride and Prejudice, this first novel of Aidan’s trilogy is nothing short of absolutely fantastic.

The author takes her readers through Darcy’s first meeting with Elizabeth, why he behaves they way that he does, and how often, what was once seen as him being tough and perhaps cruel, was his natural decorum, or way of flirting holding on to that very decorum.

Specifically, Aidan is able to add some of her own little quirks into the story – consistent letters between Georgiana and Darcy, a look into Darcy’s private life as male head of house. This is actually one of the most unique aspects, and what I enjoyed reading the most, because as a reader you get to see an illustration of how Georgiana was really feeling post-Mr. Wickham. These letters also serve as a means to understand how truly and deeply Darcy cares for Georgiana – they also show how often he really puts others before himself.

This fact helps the reader understand further his decision to separate Bingley from Jane Bennett; in An Assembly Such as This, Darcy is working together selflessly with Caroline to protect Charles, not harm him.  It would be important to remember that in the original Pride and Prejudice, the ball at Netherfield Park turned into somewhat of a fiasco between the younger Bennett girls running wild with the officers, Mrs. Bennett running her mouth off and, the Bennett’s cousin, Mr. Collins, becoming a public laughing stock. These circumstances are part of what fuels Darcy’s opinion of country manners being ‘savage.’

If you are looking to laugh, gain a near flawless interpretation of Pride and Prejudice through the eyes of Fitzwilliam Darcy, try your eyes on An Assembly Such As This.

Here on Love Passion Romance we will be featuring reviews on the other two in the trilogy shortly. So stay tuned and don’t forget to remember the tag ‘Fitzwilliam Darcy Gentlemen.’

4.5 of 5 stars.

Buy: An Assembly Such as This

Find and buy more Pamela Aidan novels at great prices.

Review: Prom and Prejudice by Elizabeth Eulberg

Genre: YA Romance

Summary: If Pride and Prejudice took place in high school you can bet your Mr. Collinses that it’d be about prom and of course set in a prestigious all girl boarding school (Longbourn Academy) where the Caroline Bingleys were far more concerned about their Prada and arm candy than anything else.

In this version of the story Elizabeth is an only child, but her best friend Jane has a little sister in the form of Lydia. At school Elizabeth seeks out music as her way to hide from the horrible tormenting and bullying going on by her wealthier classmates (Lizzy’s a scholarship kid) and the icing on the cake is that rude boy, Darcy, from Pemberley (the all boy boarding school nearby) who’s determined to put her in her place every time they get in the same room.

Blinded by a misinterpretation of an eavesdropped conversation between Darcy and Bingley, Elizabeth see that the boy is desperate to ask her to be his date to prom and have his suit accepted!!!

Review: For a light P&P variation you can’t miss Prom and Prejudice. It’s freaking adorable! Easy to read and devour. It follows the idea of P&P without getting stuck in the plot line. The scenes read new and fresh. Trust me, you’re going to love it if you like your Austen (Clueless) or Shakespeare (10 Things I Hate About You) high schooled.

Rating: ★★★★★

Buy: Prom and Prejudice, Prom and Prejudice (UK)

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Review: Parker’s Price by Ann Bruce

A handsome stranger rescues Parker Quinn from her troublesome ex-boyfriend Tyler Moore during a Manhattan based date auction for charity. He’s gorgeous, witty, and seemingly perfect… that is until he gives her his name and reveals himself to be the dastardly villain who knocked her sister up and refused to do right by her. That makes him off limits and even if he weren’t, she now knew the true nature behind the charming façade. A man like that could never attract her.

Dean Maxwell is genuinely confused by the beautiful young woman. Things were going so well until she learned who he was and then she flipped a switch. Gone was the lovely warm personality and in its place was a frigid brittle shell. Determined to get back the original and figure out what happened, because he honestly couldn’t figure out how he wronged her, Dean places an outrageous bid which can’t be declined gracefully, buying himself more time and a date.

Where will he take her? To the Bahamas! Thus ensuring his single date stretches out over several days. That sneaky clever man.

Parker’s Price is a fantastic romp which I devoured in no time at all as I was unable to put it down once I started. It’s got that tiny hint of Pride and Prejudice going for it as Parker inevitably must face her wrong preconceptions and discover the truth behind Dean’s character. There’s also a mystery as several creepy criminal activities are perpetrated against Parker, scaring Dean but also giving him a chance to flex those protective alpha muscles.

Rating: 4 Stars

Buy: Parker’s Price

Review: An Assembly Such as This by Pamela Aidan

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This novel is Pride and Prejudice retold from Darcy’s POV. He’s very wordy–can you imagine? His version is in three parts! Part one of the Mr. Darcy, Gentleman trilogy, An Assembly Such as This, and the only one I’ve read so far, details his time in Hertfordshire. It starts with the Meryton Assembly and ends after departing Netherfield and before Jane Bennet arrives in London.

I liked the book a lot. The language matches the feel of Pride and Prejudice. It’s written in a slightly more updated fashion than Jane Austen’s original. Purists might dislike that, but it made me happy.

It’s written at a good pace. I was halfway through before I realized the novel couldn’t possibly end with them together. (I hadn’t realized it was part of the trilogy when I started.) That’s not to say it was all easy reading—some parts dragged; getting bogged down in the details. Luckily they are few and far in between and you can skimmed them and still understand what’s happening.

Observing Mr. Darcy fall for Elizabeth was a hoot. His thoughts on the subject of Elizabeth are quite a riot. I loved learning that in some situations when others see a stern visage his mind is more favorably inclined. The duality created many “aw—that’s so cute!” moments for me. Darcy comes to the conclusion he’s in love with Elizabeth at the very end and the very idea terrifies him as much as it exhilarates him.

Rating: 4 Stars

Buy: An Assembly Such as This: A Novel of Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman

Find and buy more Pamela Aidan novels.

Movie Review: Lost in Austen starring Jemima Rooper and Elliot Cowan

This three hour BBC miniseries is just precious. It’s lighthearted, humorous, and perfect. Pride and Prejudice is revisited and reintroduced. Lost in Austen pays homage to Jane Austen’s original masterpiece while reinventing it. My friend, who is not a Pride and Prejudice fan—blasphemous I know!—loved this film. My other friend, who is a huge fan of Pride and Prejudice, to the point of being a purist, loved it also. Two endorsements right there! Make that three as it has mine also!

It starts with the heroine, a representative for all modern women, reading the classic tale. She has read it so many times, she can say it by heart, practically see herself there at Pemberley running to Darcy—wait hold up!

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Amanda Price thinks she’s going crazy what with Elizabeth Bennet showing up in her bathroom and all. It is just one more sign of impending institutionalization. Really, how could a fictional character appear in her bathroom? The lives of those in Georgian England are made up after all… right?

When a wall opens up in Amanda’s bathroom and Elizabeth affirms it is her house on the other side, Amanda can’t resist stepping through. Like Alice, Amanda has gone through the rabbit hole and is trapped in Wonderland. The door swings shut behind her, but Amanda is filled with only a slight trepidation as she descends into the madness that is the Bennet house right at the beginning of the story.

What follows is a fabulous, wonderful, delicious story of a modern girl trying to make the story happen only to mess it up. Every time Amanda attempts to fix things, it gets worse. Some end up married to the wrong person, new background on characters is revealed, and more. Who could imagine blustering Mrs. Bennett as a ball-buster? One of the things that I loved was how Wickham is redeemed in this version. How? Watch and find out!

I’ve been told that the American version is missing a scene where Amanda is singing. I noticed a jerky transition where it should have occurred. There are also a few minor things left out, so I’ve been told. I wish they hadn’t taken it out, I mean once you’re at three hours, what’s another fifteen or so minutes right? Anyway, it was marvelous. Get it from your library or buy a copy – you’ll love it!

PS: Elliot Cowan, who plays Mr. Darcy, in looks is a cross between Colin Firth and Heath Ledger. Yum! His wet white shirt scene… double yum! Take a look:

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Rating: 4.5 Stars!

Buy: Lost in Austen