Why Jacob Black and Bella Swan Would Never Work as a Romantic Couple

The whole idea of Teams is ridiculous. Readers of the series know how it ends and the folly of picking Teams is apparent. There was never any question Bella would wind up with Edward. Sure, you could pick Team Jacob for his hot body and delicious muscles, but picking Team Jacob because he and Bella make sense is ludicrous and here are 5 reasons why: (spoilers ahead)

1.     Jacob is a werewolf.

It’s not so much that he’s a werewolf, so much as what being a werewolf in Stephenie Meyer’s world implies. At least with Edward, Bella had a chance to become immortal too and eventually this chance is realized. With Jacob she’d grow old and he wouldn’t even start to age until he could go long periods of time without shifting. If Bella hated the thought with Edward, there’s no way she’d stand for it with Jacob, especially when Jacob can’t change her into a werewolf too.

2.     Jacob would imprint.

Another downside to the Jacob and Bella relationship is that eventually, like the rest of his furry brothers, Jacob would imprint. It might not be right away, he might have to wait for her to be born as with the case of Renesmee. But we’re assuming Bella doesn’t stay with Edward so the example should be Quil and Claire. That’d leave Bella alone… Jacobless and Edwardless, which would never work.

3.     Jacob is too pushy.

Edward has his faults, but Jacob’s pushiness makes Bella extremely uncomfortable. She can’t handle it and she doesn’t like it. If a fist in the face doesn’t bring home these facts to Jacob, he’s clearly clueless and will continue in said pushy behavior (as he does in Eclipse manipulating a kiss at the end of the novel) until he ultimately pushed Bella too far and eventually away.

4.     Jacob is beyond reckless.

He’s not worried about his life and safety and takes unnecessary risks. It might be thrilling at first, but over the long haul it’s not what Bella’s looking for. If you look at his behavior at the end of Eclipse you can see where his foolishness gets him – critically hurt and even then he doesn’t take it seriously. Bella would be constantly looking out for him in a manner similar to how she looks after her parents. She needs someone like Edward who’s willing to tone down his wildness and to act like an adult.

5.     Jacob doesn’t get it.

Love means something else to him than it does to Bella and he simply doesn’t get it. He’s in the middle of puppy love, not adult love when it comes to his feelings for Bella. Why else would he run off and face down a hoard of Newborns instead of staying with Bella when she clearly doesn’t want him to go?

Conclusion: It’s as clear as the snout on a werewolf’s face that Bella and Jacob never had a shot of everlasting and true love.

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Become Smitten with Twilight’s Biting Appeal

I am very upset with Associated Press Movie Critic Christy Lemire’s review of Twilight. She gave the film 1.5 Stars and wrote a very unappealing look at the book’s film adaptation. I thoroughly enjoyed the film and I think the review was written to be controversial rather than an adequate depiction of the movie. I don’t know why critics try to take the fun out of something, but I am determined she was just being a sourpuss about the whole affair.

I went to the midnight premiere last night wearing one of my handmade Twilight pendants. I sat there in my seat waiting for the movie to start for nearly two hours and chatted with a nice girl who came dragging along a friend who wasn’t at all interested in the movie or books. We were both Edward fans and had similar opinions and views of the books and the waiting time was spent very pleasurably. I commend the theater for opening up seating immediately instead of making us wait outside. The one question we both asked was:

Would the movie live up to the hype?

I say it did. Sure there were some over the top segments, but it was done in accordance to the book. The slow-down filming of the scenes pushed it to the level of being too much. This mostly occurs with the introduction of the supermodel vampires – wonderfully cast and in the biology scene when Edward first gets a whiff of Bella’s pungent and lethal scent. It was unintentionally funny, and I think watching it a second time away from immature boy commentators will be thoroughly acceptable instead of slightly laughable.

Thoughts on the Casting:

Bella was perfectly cast with Kristen Stewart. She made watching the slightly awkward and shy Bella Swan very enjoyable not at all the sullen face Lemire makes her out to be. (Her hair I could kill for – gorgeous!) The sexual/romantic tension between Stewart and Robert Pattinson, playing vampire Edward Cullens, was phenomenal. Very hot kiss scenes between them (once again would be more enjoyable without the immature boys yelling across the theater… and that’s saying something because the scenes were amazing even with the commentary going on.)

The Cullens family was wonderfully cast too. I was worried with how many unknown names (at least to me) that were appearing throughout the film that it would fall short of readers’ expectations. Alice played by Ashley Greene was perky, cute, and fun. Jackson Rathbone played a seriously sexy Jasper. I loved him in the film and could watch him as often as Bella and Edward. Jasper is the newest Vegan vampire and it’s very hard for him to be around humans – hence the nearly always present expression of pain on his face.

Lemire mentioned that Rosalie only had one expression – the sneer and scowl. Well if Lemire has read the books Rosalie is the disapproving vampire. She doesn’t like Bella and all Bella ever sees her do is sneer and scowl. Rosalie does provide some good humor at the start of the flight from danger scenes.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen is also one sexy vampire. Yum. He plays the hot fatherly doctor figure very well. Of the vampires, he looks most like a vampire. The others are as pale as Bella in most instances.

The high school mortals were also amazing in their roles. The film built up their friendship quickly without much dialogue. I could easily believe that the group had been friends for years. Eric and Mike were fantastic. Jessica and Angela too. Jessica provided a lot of humor to her scenes because you can see where her thoughts were all the time based on her facial expressions.

Bella’s father and mother were similarly excellent choices, though I agree with Lemire’s comment on the bad cop style mustache for Billy Burke.

Jacob and the rest of the Quileute Tribe were done well. I have never been a Jacob fan by any stretch of the imagination but I enjoyed him in this movie. I did hear on the way out of the theaters that some girls were switching loyalties to Edward. I thought Jacob was pretty cute – apparently they didn’t agree.

Casting gets a 5 out of 5.

Thoughts on Special Effects:

Lemire says Twilight was a low budget film. I don’t know what that means, or how much Twilight ran on so I can’t really comment on money to visual effects and ask something like where did all the money go?

Edward’s flying through the trees reminded me of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. It was more choppy than the Chinese film and harder to get behind. This goes very much into the over the top area. The meadow sequence was perfectly acceptable. I also enjoyed his second run through the trees and climbing up them with Bella on his back. That was easier to believe in a way. Sort of Spider-Manish. I also liked his pet name for her in spider monkey. Much better than sweetheart, baby, luv, honey, sexy, etc. we hear most of the time. It’s unique and therefore special.

The ballet studio sequence was wonderful. I can only imagine how hard it was to edit out all the camera and extra people and I’ve seen the behind the scenes look at the ballet studio and what they were doing. It was amazing! I liked it a lot and I sure most moviegoers will too.

Back to the meadow – Edward as his sparkly vampire self could have passed easily any sunny day in San Francisco as a Queen with glitter decorating his whole body. I could see the diamond comment, but it wasn’t as noticeable or excessive as the books made it out to be. If all vampires looked like that in the sun they should just move to California and nobody would notice or look twice.

Ending:

The ending was great with prom. Jacob showed up but didn’t get to dance with Bella. I’m so vindictive that I giggled on the inside at this, striking up a point for Edward. Very possessive returning to Bella’s side when he spies the soon to be werewolf.

The gazebo reminded me of a lot of dancing sequences in other high school films… for instance A Cinderella Story. But I loved how he picked her up and had her dance with him. As they were dancing the other couples noticeably left the gazebo giving Edward and Bella a few private moments at the end. The parting words were sweet and the moment sizzling even as it was tender.

Overall I give this movie 4.5 Stars. A must see for any Twilight fan and a chance for non-Twihards to become smitten with Twilight and its biting appeal.

10 Second Eclipse Sneak Peak

Gut reaction: gah!

I want more than 10 seconds! Where’s the bonus 20%? I could use 2 more seconds. :P

Give me Robert Pattinson. Seriously, that boy is sex on a stick. As I said on Twitter who ever delivers him to my door for Christmas will have my eternal gratitude.

Kristen Stewart looked very Bella-esque. That makes me happy. I hate scenes where her makeup and clothes make her look more like herself and less like the character.

Also Taylor Lautner delivered his line with excellence. I still think the line is a bit creepy (in context… it could be romantic in other situations) and shows that his love isn’t going to follow Bella if she isn’t human. It’d be like Edward saying, “I’m going to fight for you until you turn furry.” I don’t think he’d say that, do you?

Go Team Edward! (I know there are some Team Jacob fans out there in Romancelandia but I just don’t get it.)

I can’t wait for June 30, 2010. Can you? I’m so going to be in the theaters at the midnight showing opening day. Anybody planning to party while in line for Eclipse? You know you’ll be there at least 3 hours early to get the best seats and possibly longer depending on where you live.

What do you look forward to the most? I want to see the tent scene and the end scene in the meadow and Bella breaking her hand on Jacob’s face and Edward’s subsequent growlies. Swoon. Am I a nerd or what? :)

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Eclipse Party Game Ideas

The official countdown for June 30th has begun. That means it’s time to get ready for your Eclipse party. Every Twilight themed party needs games. Below are some of the games you can entertain your party with while waiting in line or at home before/after the movie. (EDIT: Eclipse is being re-released for Bella’s Birthday September 13th, 2010. The movie will be back in theaters September 10, 2010. Who’s excited?)

Forks Yearbook:

You will need paper, pencils, and a timer.

How to Play: Players have one minute to name all the characters, actors, and places in the Twilight Saga that start with any given letter of the alphabet.

Who Wins: The person with the most names listed or with the most unique names listed (derived by crosschecking everyone’s lists) wins.

Eclipse Jeopardy:

If a small party, play as individuals. If a large party divide into teams.

Set up: You will need index cards, pencils, and tape. Come up with 5 questions to fit 6 categories for a total of 30 questions. Put the questions and answers on one side of the index card and the value amount for the question on the other side. Create a board from the index cards by taping them up on a wall or window.

How to Play: A player or team will pick a category and dollar amount. Someone will take the index card down and read the question on the back. A correct response earns the dollar value of the clue. If the response is incorrect, reveal the answer and no points are distributed.

Category ideas include: Individual Actors, Entire Cast, Movies, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Vampires, Werewolves, Humans, and Stephenie Meyer.

Who Wins: The person or team with most money at the end of the game.

Alice’s Visions:

(Game Name taken from Twilight Scene-It.) You will need paper and pencils or a chalkboard/dry erase board and chalk/markers.

How to Play: Players will try to stump the group by drawing scenes from the Twilight and New Moon movies. Each drawing is given three minutes. How many turns taken depends entirely on the amount of players participating, if necessary divide group into teams again. For every drawing guessed correctly, the guesser/team will get a point. In team play, if at the end of three minutes the scene is still unknown the team of the drawer will get one minute to guess. If they get it right the team earns two points.

Who Wins: Team with most points.

Twilight Charades:

Divide the group into Team Jacob/Werewolves and Team Edward/Vampires. Evenly. If there’s an odd number, have the person who sits out designate what the others will act out and keep time.

How to Play: Every member of the Jacob/Werewolves Team will impersonate a vampire or human character. It’s up to Team Edward/Vampires to figure out who they are as quick as they can. Afterwards it’s time to switch and the Edward/Vampire Team will impersonate a werewolf or human character (preferably different humans than already depicted) with the Jacob/Werewolf Team guessing.

Who Wins: The team with the shortest time wins!

Newborn Hunt:

Play in backyard, at a local park, or soccer field. You will need a flashlight and perhaps a pair of extra batteries.

How to Play: This is a mix of hide and seek and tag. Players try to hide from the seeker who guards the jail or safety zone depending on rules. If it is the jail, then all players hit with the light must go to the jail and wait. If it’s the safety zone, players will try to get there while avoiding the seeker.

Additional Ideas for Game Play:

  • Have players form pairs or teams. Any untagged pair or team member can release a caught person from jail.
  • If teams are formed and there’s no jail, just a safety zone, you can play by points. Team with the most safe people at the end of two rounds wins.
  • Play starts with just the seeker, no teams, as the seeker tags other players, these players join in the hunt. The winner is the last man standing. If a new round begins, the last player tagged is now the seeker.

Who Wins: No real winner. Game is ongoing as the seeker position is handed over, usually to first person tagged.

Standard Games:

Eclipse Game Prizes and Party Favors:

If you’re interested, here are some ideas for party prizes and favors.

Got other party ideas? Share them below!

Adapt New Moon Party ideas to your Eclipse Party: New Moon Bash: Party Ideas!; More New Moon Movie Party Ideas

Twilight and Eclipse Party Favors:

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[phpbay]twilight favors, 25, “”, “”[/phpbay]

Eclipse Movie Party Ideas Continued in Twilight Eclipse Party Ideas: Invitations, Food, and Supplies.