The Darcy Syndrome

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Hello ladies, I know we all obsess over Mr. Darcy but what do guys think of that? I was trying to explain myself to a friend of mine and we got into a debate, where admittedly I was losing (at least from his standpoint). What can I say? I was not on the debate team in high school. In the end, I thought his impression of Darcy was really interesting and I asked him to share his view point with us here in hopes some of you could counter his argument. Heated arguments and debates welcome... no flames, please!

The Darcy Syndrome
(AKA – you women are nuts)

So, I was asked to supply a man’s take on romance to this website. Here it goes, you women are crazy. Not all of you, just the ones who actually look for guys like this, and you let this be your idea of what romance should be. Well, that’s like me looking at an airbrushed playboy centerfold and expecting women to be D cups and enjoy football – it’s not going to happen. Mr. Darcy doesn’t exist, that’s right Virginia, there’s also no Santa Claus.

The way I’ve had it explained to me, is a “Darcy”, is that guy who’s emotionally closed off, snobbish, and generally a prick. But he “changes” or reveals his “true self” (one second while I wait for my contemptuous snicker to subside), due to the love of a good woman. This is why we know Jane Austin and not Steve Austin wrote this book, guys like that don’t exist. If a guy comes of like a prick, he’s a prick. You think you’re going to be good for him? Help him? Reveal that better man? There’s no man underneath ladies, there isn’t even an underneath, and we have no hidden layers, we simply are who we are. The crazy thing is, many of the girls I know who are like this get turned off by a guy who is just simply nice, and not an asshat. They’d rather change a guy into that, than just pick that guy.

wet-shirt-scene-in-lost-in-austen

Now it’s gotten so bad that you’ve made paranormal romance the next evolution the Darcy. You have to invent imaginary creatures just to cobble together a man that meets your unrealistic expectations – vampires with souls? Vegetarian vampires? What’s next? Werewolves with French accents, Armani suits, and are ever so gentle?

Well, as a reformed “nice guy” a.k.a. the doormat you always complain about your Darcys to, I’ll step up and say it – men don’t suck. They don’t suck for the same reason I’m not talking about all women, it’s you – you unmitigated bundles of confusion, your decision making skills concerning men suck. And if you think that’s bad, imagine the guys who have to put up with this garbage. You know what this psychosis is going to do to the few good men out there? It’s going to turn them into me.

Just think about that.

The place confusion ends, the unabridged truth, what you should know about men but won’t ask.

Sincerely,
-A guy

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10 comments ↓
#1 Sasha on 07.01.09 at 11:25 am

…I won’t settle for anything less than then a Mr. Darcy-hybrid. I call it ’self-respect.’

#2 janicu on 07.01.09 at 11:35 am

Hmm. Interesting. I sense some bitterness though? HEE. OK, I think women know that men “don’t suck” and men who don’t suck is a good thing. Darcy is at first full of himself (here comes the Pride), and treats Elizabeth like she is beneath him which makes her not like him (here is the Prejudice), but eventually when they get to know each other they find their initial impressions were wrong. So really Darcy ISN’T a big jackass, he just acted like one and had to eat crow because of it and prove to Elizabeth with his actions (not just the nice letter he wrote her) that he was a nice guy. I think a little bit of liking Mr. Darcy is that he had to change his ways (and to learn how to act properly to people, without so much pride) in order to get the girl. So it is really about the nice guy getting the girl. The real bad guy here (Mr. Wickham) who Elizabeth liked at first, who said nice things, in the end, his actions proved to be the Big Jerk.

#3 -a guy on 07.01.09 at 7:01 pm

1) Sasha, thankyou – exactly what i was getting at.
2) janicu, it seems like alot of work to find a man whoes prideful and prejudice, and then have him have to prove his better than that – when you could just choose a guy who is neither prideful nor prejudice?

The big takeaway that men get from media like this, and newer versions of the same old song and dance, is a mass of contradiction. Do we need to be cut off and act like we don’t like you? Can we be upfront if we like you? Do, we need to be dangerous (soulless vampire) or gentle (souled vampire)…etc. It just seems like every guy whoes modeled in media is a mass of confusion. And the more often a guy is confused the more likely he is to throw his hands up in the air and stop trying.

on that note, ive promised our webkeeper here that I’ll stop by from time to time and add a male perspective – so any topical ideas, questions, etc would be appreciated.

#4 Malena on 07.01.09 at 7:29 pm

Blame Andrew Davis. He was the one who stripped Mr Darcy of his soberbs clothes and slipt him into a wet shirt. No one had ever heard of Mr Darcy before that!

#5 I refuse to settle for anything less than Mr. Darcy | Little Pink Book on 07.02.09 at 4:46 am

[...] response to a recent article on Review Romance, a not-so-subtle ‘boy’ claims that women, the world over, for the past 200 years, are [...]

#6 Melanie on 07.02.09 at 7:45 am

This is priceless. I absolutely agree with you. I think that Mr. Darcy is a dude with a pride problem. Sure, I love him, but I have the feeling that if a Darcy-ish man were to walk into a room, I’d end up wanting to slap him. I can’t take the brooding, silent type. I’d much rather have a guy that’s just willing to talk to me.

#7 Miss Remmers on 07.02.09 at 11:14 am

A Guy – I’m going to have to agree with ‘most’ of what you said. I think that women need to take Mr. Darcy in stride. Now don’t get me wrong ladies, I love all things Darcy. But I’ve also landed on my bum more than a couple times because, as he said, women (including me) try to ‘reveal the better man’ – and each time I’ve tried ….well let’s just put this way, I’m still single. I think that women need to realize that nice guys DO exist, but if you’re looking for ALL things Darcy – you’re going to miss him. You’ll be looking so hard for a ’stuck up prick’ (I added the stuck up part) that you’ll miss the great guy standing in front of you (it happens, three times to me).
So no, you shouldn’t ’settle’. But you shouldn’t limit the pool of men either.

“You must be open to the possibility that the right man might not be as you expected – don’t let pride or prejudice stand in the way of love”

This goes for looking for the perfect “Mr. Darcy” as well, it’s still prejudice.

#8 Missy on 07.05.09 at 12:37 pm

I think janicu hit the target and some of you didn’t see it. Darcy let his prejudice get in the way as Elizabeth let her pride. In the end this story reiterates the saying, “things aren’t always what they seem.” You have to look deeper than the first impression to truly know someone. After all, Wickham seemed like a prize but look how he turned out.

#9 janicu on 07.14.09 at 2:25 pm

OK i came back to check on this. Yeah, what Missy said. I’m not saying that a girl has to find a guy who is full of pride and then get past her prejudice about him and uh.. go through the whole P&P plot to find a man. I’m saying first impressions can be deceiving sometimes. And Lizzy doesn’t like a jerk at all. I think the real moral is that you do want a nice guy which Darcy did turn out to be.

I would like to hear a male perspective on man titty covers. I will say I find man titty a bit scary, but would like to hear a male perspective on the gratuitiousness of it and the often shiney chests and long flowing hair. :P

#10 Magdalen on 12.19.09 at 7:20 pm

Hey, Guy — great post. I read it out loud to my Mr. Darcy: a lovely British fellow who was just waiting for a pushy American like me to come find him.

I do think some women pick bad boys, or insensitive guys, or dickwads and think they can rehabilitate them. It’s got a low-probability of success, to be sure, but what’s involved in that fantasy is the sense that she has a real effect on the man in question: he’s not necessarily a better person after she’s loved him, but he is a different person and he knows she’s the one because her love for him has that power.

So, Guy, here’s your reward for being willing to write this guest blog post: You want to land your “Miss Bennett?” (Whom, we’ll assume, has not been selected for her cup size.) Well, be available but not too available, then when the relationship has evolved and she seems interested in you, tell her something personal that you’ve never told anyone else. (Make it up, if you have to.)

Good luck!

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