A question – would our answers to this question be the same for lesbian romance or gay romance novels? I realize the focus of this blog is pretty much hetero romance/erotica, but I still think it’s a question worth asking.

Think of all the times you hear questions surface like “I caught my boyfriend looking at porn — does that mean I’m not enough for him?” While it’s generally accepted in the abstract that guys watch porn, it’s still not considered polite to acknowledge that regarding particular males in the room in any circles I’ve ever been in.

I would classify romance novels as being treated like comic books — there’s a good-sized segment of adult males that read comic books, and its easy to point to some high quality ones that are valid on anyone’s literature shelf, but there’s still a stigma attached to reading them as an adult. If your reaction is “hey, no fair making that comparison, comic books are cheap crap for kids” then you have just proved my point.

I think romance novels have the negative association they do because people who don’t read them think they embody gender roles that are considered outdated. You know, chaste Mary Sue tries heroically to resist the advances of Bolt (the ruggedly-handsome scoundrel) before finally consenting to be ravished, at which point she successfully tames his wild ways.

Is this a fair generalization about the genre? Of course not — though there are still elements of that storyline that get retold, because many “modern” women (even those with PhDs or high powered jobs) still find elements of that fantasy compelling. During the early years of the sexual revolution this kinds of fantasy was considered outdated and even politically dangerous. Nowadays, this censure is falling out of fashion as young feminists demand the right to be tied up in bed if that’s what floats their boats, so I imagine the time will be right for a reevaluation of romance before too long.

For now, romance fans need to just relax, have a thick skin, and be self confident. If someone makes a snide remark, just smile at them enigmatically and move on. It’s okay to like whatever you like, and anyone who’s going to be obnoious about it isn’t worth talking to anyway.

Umm, radfems and the religious right, not to mention numerous individualists who consider the act to be personally disgusting or breach of relationship (cheating). Man-porn outfits actually are considered such vices in society that laws have been made to curb their locations.

I would describe romance novel as porn, but since I don’t consider porn to be inherently negative, I’m not saying it to put it down. Just a description of the sexual fantasy needs in the society that it fills.