by Heather Lynn Rigaud, guest blogger and author of Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star
I’m so happy to be at your blog today. I love the topic you gave me, it made me immediately think of Entertainment Tonight. So without any more ado, let’s cue the music and bring in Mary Hart to present:
The Top 10 Rules Darcy’s Rock Band Will Never Follow!
Fitzwilliam Darcy is the white-hot leader of the famous rock band Slurry. Rock music’s ultimate bad boy, everyone wants to know what he’ll do next. The rumors of his exploits have become almost as well known as his music! So let’s take a look at all those rules he loves to break.
10. Never break the rules. For all the wildness of the Rock-n-Roll life style, there are some basics that everyone follows. Things like staffing and hotels are pretty much standard throughout the industry. And then there’s Slurry.
Never before have we seen a group like this take all the standards and throw them out the window. And it all goes back to Fitzwilliam Darcy. He’s not afraid to take any rule and change it, if it doesn’t work for him. From tour staff to hotel choices, this man is a world-maker. Within the industry, he’s become well known for his ‘take no prisoners’ attitude. If Darcy wants it done, he’ll do whatever it takes to get it done.
9. Never stop the tour. Rock Tours are big business. Hundreds of people work to put on shows that generate millions of dollars. Tours are how the big bands make the big bucks! But they’re also a big job. Hundreds of hour of planning and logistics are needed to get a show on the road. Record labels are expecting a significant return on their investment. So the word from on high is ‘never stop the tour.’
Except for Slurry. Of the three major tours these boys have been on, they’ve only finished one. The first was stopped at the famous Ramsgate festival, when the lead singer, George Wickham was fired and Darcy took his ball and went home. No one is quite sure of the details, but it was clear that Darcy and Wickham would never work again.
Their second tour went off without a hitch with new lead singer, Charles Bingley. But lightning stuck again during their third tour, when drummer Richard Fitzwilliam was arrested for DUI and sent to rehab. In an unusual move, Darcy cancelled the tour and went into therapy with Fitzwilliam.
Now Slurry is ready to hit the road again. Will they be able to break that losing streak or is this tour doomed from the start?
8. Never expose yourself. Rock and Rollers usually try to keep a boundary between themselves and their fans- but not Darcy! This man has no problem exposing his well-toned torso, with his many artistic tattoos, in concert. In fact, it’d be more of a surprise if he came out wearing a shirt!
The next three rules are all related, so we’ll cover them in a group:
7. Never leave press events early.
6. Never piss off your label.
5. Always make nice with the TV people.
Darcy is well known as being very polite and welcoming to his fans. His reputation for meet and greets is almost as big as his rep for trouble. But all bets are off when it comes to the press.
Darcy has no interest in the plastic people, and his feud with Carson Daly is legendary. He’s well known for not saying a word during interviews and if he shows up for a media event, better get in there fast, because he’ll be leaving ASAP!
Even more remarkable is his complete lack of fear of his record label, Rosings Park, led by the infamous Lady Catherine deBourgh. The Gorgon, as she’s known, has stared down many a super-star and made them feel like they’re were back in minor leagues, but not Darcy. He must a have spine of steel to stand up to her.
4. Listen to your security. Its no surprise that a rock superstar like Darcy has security. In fact, he has a whole team, led by the extremely able Rebecca Nelson. It may seem strange that a six-foot three-inch man is guarded by a girl, but Rebecca has proven her worth time and time again. And that’s a good thing, because Darcy is notorious for ignoring her. You would think that Darcy would listen to the lady he’s paying so much money too, but not our boy. He’s always darting about unescorted in his hot Mercedes coupe, making her job harder than it already is!
3. Never let rumors run wild. The rumors surrounding Darcy are almost as big as he is. But what to believe? They couldn’t all be true, could they? You would think that a star like him would be eager to clear the air on all those wild reports, but just look at this tape. You can see that when Darcy is asked about the rumored lawsuit against him, he just cocks his head and grins at the camera. What are we to make of that? Is it true? Is it false? Clearly Darcy isn’t saying.
2. Never play with groupies. We don’t know what to make of this one. We’ve had his staff, his warm-up bands, and other members of the press swear that Darcy never uses ‘Band-Aids’. They claim he’s a true professional and a perfect gentleman. But at every show, there are clearly ladies hanging around the band and many have been seen leaving the next morning.
Plus, how can you account for all the wild stories? Where there’s smoke, there must be fire, right? But person after person swears it’s not him. Could it be the other members of Slurry? What are we to believe?
1. Never get involved with your warmup band. One fact we can report with certainty is that Slurry has trouble keeping their opening act. In fact, on their current Grind tour, Slurry’s gone through three of them. What’s the problem? You would think that any band would be eager to tour with a top name act like Slurry.
The reason each band gave for leaving were all different, but the fact remains that Slurry goes through them like tissues.
Now Slurry has a new opening act, called Long Borne Suffering. Only time will tell if they can stand the Grind and finish the long North American tour.
Thanks Mary! That’s your gossip report on the Red Hot rock band Slurry and they’re dreamy leader, Fitzwilliam Darcy. What do you think? Do you believe the rumors? To find out the truth, read Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star.
Thanks for letting me share this bit with your readers. I look forward to hearing what they think.