by Carolyn Brown, guest blogger and author of Getting Lucky
Good morning, Keira and Susan! Thank you for inviting me to your blog today with my redneck slang situations. Down here in my part of the south when Jeff Foxworthy says “You might be a redneck if …” we all can relate very well. We southern women handle situations with words said so softly that it’s tough to decide if they’re insults or compliments.
Getting Lucky has more than a few of those redneck slangisms scattered in it. I’m not sure that a person could write a realistic book about cowboys and sassy, southern women without them. It’s just as much a part of our lives as pecan pie and sweet tea.
So now it’s on to how a southern lass like Julie Donavan from Getting Lucky might react to certain situations. It’s been said that a true southern lady could tell another woman to go to hell and make her look forward to the trip! I expect that’s the gospel truth and could be written in stone and set up at the edge of the front porch steps right beside the coon dog’s watering bowl.
- Marge had one too many tequila shots Saturday night celebrating the "big" promotion. Her mother-in-law makes an unexpected visit, Sunday morning. Marge has a hangover from hell, and opens the door. How should she greet her mother-in-law?
Instead of good morning (Redneck slang): Spit your snuff out Gert and come in. I’ll pour us each a shot of tequila to burn the hair off our tongues. (Mother-in-law downed as many shots as Marge did. Marge was smart enough to check out the mother-in-law before she went to the courthouse and married the son.)
- Jackie and Kev are celebrating their very first wedding anniversary. They're having dinner, clinking wine glasses when all of a sudden Kev's ex-girlfriend walks up to the table and says, "Kev, I thought that it was you-how are you?"
Instead of screaming, "Leave us alone!" (Redneck slang): Well, hello, darlin’. You must be Lois. We’re celebrating a year of happiness. I’ve heard so much about you but no one could be that big of a bitch so I didn’t believe a word of it.
- Having car trouble again, Sarah walks into work late for the second time this week. Her employer says, "You’re late again!"
Instead of, "I'm sorry Mr. T. Rexx" (Redneck slang): My car is female. It has PMS and did not want to fire up this early in the morning. I am female. I have PMS and a gun in my purse and it’s not a good day. Tomorrow is not looking real whoopee either so if you’re goin’ to fire me do it now so I can make the blue light specials at the Wal-Mart store and go file for my unemployment.
- Freshly showered you answer the door for the hunky U.P.S. delivery guy. He's bringing you Carolyn Brown's latest novel, the one you ordered from B&N online. Upon opening the door, he greets you with a smile that would power an entire town during a power outage.
Instead of mumbling incoherently, "I, uh...should, thanks...do I need to...I mean do you, sign that" (Redneck slang): Ooops! That towel just fell right off my body. Please put that package on the table. We’ll tear into it and see if you look anything like Griffin Luckadeau with your shirt all unbuttoned.
- After much deliberation, hesitation, and several other-ations Vicky attends her 10 year high school reunion. Upon entering the reception hall, (Lisa) her old cheerleading captain walks up to Vicky, and exclaims, "Oh, my gosh--you are so fat!"
Instead of giving Lisa a right hook to the jaw… (Redneck slang): Well, sweetheart that stuff hanging on your ass ain’t seen exercise since we were doin’ the splits at the football games, either. And from one old fat cheerleader to another, yellow Spandex is not your friend.
- Steph's been in a dating slump for three years. Post-divorce life hasn't been kind. She takes her son Bobby to baseball practice, when suddenly the new heart-stopping coach ruffles Bobby's hair while saying hello. Coach Slade looks up and winks at Steph.
Instead of Steph panicking and staring open-mouthed at Coach…(Redneck slang): Come on over here honey and let me see what’s in your eye. Little closer. Oh, my, you have such a sexy smile. Well, I can’t find a thing in that droopy eye but I know this little corner bar where we could get a beer and I betcha it would cure the twitch that makes you wink.
- Emily is leaving the theater with her first date since a gut-wrenching breakup and runs into the love-of-her-life-and-ex and his new girlfriend on their way inside.
Instead of Emily introducing her date as a friend or boyfriend (Redneck slang): Oh, my, what has happened to you? Did you just get over the flu or do you have something terminal? You look horrible. And who are you, his nurse? Well, take good care of him, honey. I’d hate for him to give you whatever it is that he’s sufferin’ from. Y’all enjoy the movie now and do make him remember to take his medicine. He’s very forgetful of important things.
- Alice is a tomboy and hates to wear skirts or dresses or makeup, but she wants to snare a man. Not just any man but the man that's been driving her crazy for the last eight years... her brother's best friend.
Instead of Alice attempting to flirt with the clueless man (Redneck slang): Alice is tired of all the craziness and lets brother’s best friend find her sitting on a bale of hay in the barn wearing nothing but a smile and a pair of scuffed cowboy boots and says, “Hello! How do you like my outfit? I wore it specially for you. Hope you like the boots. I can’t walk worth a damn in high heels.”
GETTING LUCKY BY CAROLYN BROWN—IN STORES JANUARY 2010
Book 3 in The Lucky Trilogy
Single mom Julie Donavan is looking for a place to start over. What she finds after buying a small house on five acres is nothing short of a nightmare.
Single dad "Lucky Griffin" Luckadeau has been crossing horns with his elderly neighbor for years. But when his daughter, Annie, decides she wants the new little girl who lives on the feuding property to be her friend, or better yet her sister, the sparks fly.
These two stubborn hotheads, who irritate each other beyond endurance, refuse to admit that it's fate that brought them together. And running from the inevitable is only going to bring a double dose of misery…
About the Author
Carolyn Brown, an award-winning author who has published 36 romance novels for the library market, credits her eclectic family for her humor and writing ideas. She was born in Texas but grew up in southern Oklahoma where she and her husband, Charles, a retired English teacher, now make their home in the town of Davis, Oklahoma. They have three grown children and enough grandchildren to keep them young. For more information, please visit http://carolynlbrown.com/. Be on the lookout for Carolyn’s new series, The Honky Tonk Series, in 2010!
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27 comments ↓
Where is a good place to go looking for a man ? And should a man with children be considered ?
Good morning Carolyn! Thanks for being with us today.
I had a “lapse” in judgment this morning. I should’ve known better than to read your responses while drinking my coffee. Needless to say, I’ll be mopping up coffee from my laptop, kitchen table, and anywhere else I might’ve spit on. Bravo! (Clapping vigorously) I love your sense of humor. I loved all your responses, especially no.’s four & six, my favorite though would have to be: (drumroll please) number four!!!! I doubt he’s as gorgeous as Griffin, but he can be a close second. Hope you’re enjoying your blog tour. Hugs!
S&K,
And a fine Tuesday morning to y’all. Glad you had a case of Tuesday morning giggles this morning, Susan! Thanks for letting me stop by your site on my tour.
Hugs,
Carolyn Brown
Linda,
My granny used to say to never look for a man in a place where you wouldn’t want him to go after you say “I do!” Children? I’ve got six grandchildren that I got with a marriage license instead of a birth certificate. It’s not always been an easy road but then neither have the ones that came along with a birth certificate. Kids are kids … blessings, tears and laughter all rolled up into one.
Carolyn Brown
What do you suggest for a woman of a certain age, 50 and above, who is definitely old enough to know better. What should she look for in a man — or conversely what should a man look for in a woman of this age?
Giggles, it’s actually Keira’s site, she just gives me creative license to run amok on LRP with my purple fuzzy socks, and my sloshing cups of coffee.
Ooo good advice — no picking up men from places where you don’t want them to be later! I agree!
Susan — your fuzzy purple socks and my fuzzy green socks are BFFs I couldn’t not let them visit or my green would disown me on a cold day like today.
We should make this a redneck sock hop to celebrate Carolyn’s release. Carolyn, what color fuzzy socks do you have?
Susan,
I got all dressed up today for your blog! My socks match (that’s dressed up in my world) and they are hot pink! We can do a line dance and look like a rainbow when we do our leg kicks … or maybe the moon when I fall on my fanny!
Carolyn
Karin,
Age has little to do with qualities we look for in a man. Shut your eyes and let your heart do the looking. Hard working, passionate, sweet … the list goes on. Now open them and if he’s handsome, too, then that’s icing on the chocolate cake!
Men look for the same things in a woman. Sometimes they just don’t have enough sense to shut their eyes so you got to kiss them to get that job done. A nice passionate kiss can tell you lots anyway. It’s like knocking two birds out of the pecan tree with one rock. Don’t be shy … age is just the number of candles on a birthday cake. Blow them out. Throw them in the trash. Now forget that number and be young.
Carolyn Brown
It’s been my experience that you usually find a good man when you least expect it and in the place you least expect it.
I have the first book in this series and enjoyed it. Those southern men really are something…*sigh*
(and those covers… perfect !)
Hi Carolyn, funny post today!! What kind of women are cowboys attracted to??? Do they want a woman to help them on the farm or ranch?? I’ve been waiting for your three books to be released, now I’ll need to pick them up, or win them!! Thanks, Sue
Hey, Carolyn & Julie! I need your ad-vice! I went to family night at the funeral home the other evening, and I met a man. He was real polite. Kinda pale and thin, and his hand was cool and clammy when he steered me toward the guest book. Something about him was, I don’t know, almost hypnotizin’. Sorta like that fella Davy Copperfield, but not as glamorous. Anyway, he wants to take me out. Said he would come by and pick me up in a long, black Cadillac! My Mama said he looked like a Spook, but I try not to judge a fella just by his looks. His eyes didn’t light up when he smiled, but at least he had all his teeth! I ain’t getting any younger, and Mama ain’t gettin’ no sweeter! Should I go?
Joder,
How right you are! I’ve seen it happen a million times. Stop chasin’ and suddenly there he is.
Emmanuelle,
Thank you! Those Luckadeau men really were fun to write about.
Sue,
Cowboys want a woman to love them just like they are … mud on the boots and pickup trucks!
Virginia C
Take your cell phone and the number for a cab or a good friend. That way if he doesn’t turn out to be a nice person you can get the hell out of Dodge. Tell Mama once he goes out with you his eyes may sparkle like a falling star!
Carolyn B.
So Julie, what exactly would be your definition of getting lucky? *cough*cough*
Deidre
Deidre,
My definition of getting lucky would be above and beyond the idea the two words bring to mind. It would be finding someone like Griffin to share the rest of my life with, to know that when the day is done we can curl up together and enjoy the evening. But that idea that the two words invoke ain’t too bad either …
Julie
My Momma is Carolyn Brown. I do my level dangest to read all her blogs….and like this one, I don’t always get to them the DAY she’s here, but I love the questions ya’ll ask her and how she response!
I promised her I would NOT ask her dating advice…heaven knows she hears enough of my bellyachin’ without trying to answer any question I could ask her…and she know that dating advice would mean I had left her favorite cowboy son-in-law! *laugh*
Thanks for the giggles!
Hi Amy! Don’t worry, better late than never I always say. I love your mom’s responses, she’s one talented writer, and a kind and funny lady to boot. Guess’ we can crank up the music again, start up that sockhop, what color fuzzy socks do you have?
Sounds like a great trilogy. I’m going to have to read these.
Enjoyed reading the comments. I love the redneck offerings. My kind of thoughts
hi and welcome; what an interesting blog to start the day; I enjoyed it thoroughly.
What should one do when the bf’s Mom keeps ‘running down’ her nationality? e.g. oh those ——-are that type of people. She isn’t of that nationality and how does she know. Thanks.
What advice would you give a woman who is divorced, the man lost his wife to cancer and he has 3 teenagers. She has never had any kids and he wants to date her. Should she or shouldn’t she? Thanks.
Robyn L.:
Dating doesn’t mean permanent commitment. Try it. If it don’t feel right, stop. Your heart will tell you the truth if you listen to it. It don’t lie!
BF’s Moms are potential MIL’s. You might need the “ain’t that nice” line. It prevents you from biting your tongue off a dozen times a day when you are in her presence.
Don’t know what that is: Well, short form. Two sisters marry different men. One is rich and the other poor. Poor sister goes to visit rich sister and they’re sitting on the porch. Rich sister says that her husband bought her a mansion for a wedding present. Poor sister says, “Ain’t that nice.”
Rich sister says that her husband bought her a Caddy when she had their first child. Poor sister says, “Ain’t that nice.”
Rich sister says that her husband bought her a five carat diamond ring when she had their second child. Poor sister says, “Ain’t that nice.”
Rich sister finally asks. “What has your husband done for you?”
Poor sister says he sent her to finishing school.
Rich sister says, “Finishing school. Why would he send you to finishing school?”
Poor sister says, “To teach me to say, ‘ain’t that nice’ instead of ‘screw you.’”
GOOD LUCK!!!
Carolyn
Should the guy always pick up the lady at her residence if possible? How long into dating would it be fine for the two to meet at a agreed on place? Thanks.
Robyn,
Again, what feels right? Have fun!
Carolyn
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