Carly Simon was onto something when she claimed, “you're so vain
What is romance, after all, but being (seemingly) attended to as you secretly think you deserve? ~Michael Sims reported by Bittergrace
That was one of the most interesting things I heard about romance in a long while. It made me think. Are our emotions wrapped up in vanity? Well, are they?
The more I thought about it the more I was sure this statement was correct. I came away agreeing that attentiveness and falling in love go hand in hand.
You wouldn’t dream about ignoring someone you were interested in romantically or sexually. We obsess and we worry over the details. Was that smile a friendly one or a “I’m interested” one? Did he/she notice that huge blunder we just made? And so on.
We are flattered by attentions of others whether desired or not. I think this is because we all want to be admired and noticed.
Romance novels allow readers to feel that thrill of attention, admiration, and chase over and over again. What’s better than falling in love? Other than chocolate which is a given.
The pursuit of love that is all consuming is so attractive because it’s so consuming. We crave to be consumed as much as we want to consume. To be wrapped up in our own little worlds; it’s thrilling and terrifying and tremendously tantalizing.
When the attention fades, so does the love. Rekindle both and you’re right there at the height of passion all over again.
What do you think? Do you dis/agree?
Photo Credits: John Everett -- Millais
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This post was written by...
Keira – who has written 1034 posts on Love Romance Passion.
Keira's favorite type of heroes are blind, scarred, and tortured... yes, she understands those should be separate, but all 3 at once is also nice! She enjoys historical romances best and adores audio books because great narrators turn books into auditory/mental movies (and she loves her romantic dramas like Pride and Prejudice/North and South!) Learn more about Keira in My Instant Turn Ons, Offs, and Ifs.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I think that is a definite draw. Those first days of falling in love are so special, yes, we want to relive and read about it. Plus, who doesn’t want that undivided attention and lustful eyes from the hero?
I can’t imagine thinking anyone is in love with us unless he/she were attentive/interested on all levels in who we are. I think that is a draw in books about love/romance too.
The loveable cad in books who doesn’t seem to be interested, but is, is not so true to life, however.
In life, if s/he isn’t interested, s/he isn’t interested.
I think I agree. Falling in love is something we don’t get to do all that often and that kind of all-consuming attention and affection is totally addictive. So we read romance novels!
Exactly Meghan! It should come with a Surgeon General warning:
The Surgeon General Warns that “Falling in Love” is extremely addicting and deems it to be hazardous to one’s health, harmony, heart and general happiness of being.
I think you’re on to something. Living vicariously is definitely part of the thrill of a good romance.
I disagree. I think real love is something given when you don’t deserve it. If we’re talking about romance, the thrill comes from someone thinking about you and going out of their way to show it. If you thought you deserved it, what would be so thrilling about it?
lots of people are addicted to that falling in love part. The infatuation rush and when it is over they move on to find their next fix. They have done research that says the initial infatuation high lasts about 4 years (notice how many marriages end about that time?)
Haha! Too funny Sharon